Stolen Poem

I found this on Reddit and wanted to share it. It is very well done in my opinion.

Atheism Doesn't Andie L.(age 14)

Atheism doesn't bring me comfort, it doesn't bring me pain.

It doesn't promise what it can't, namely; life after the death of my brain.

It doesn't tell me what is right or wrong, or how to live my life,

It doesn't tell people they can't have love if it's not a certain type.

It doesn't threaten me with eternal pain, or tempt me with eternal bliss,

It doesn't take away all the things I would most miss.

It doesn't create me sick and then command that I be well,

And if I don't get better, it won't send me to hell.

It doesn't bear the message: Worship me or burn,

and it doesn't take away ten percent of what I earn.

It doesn't tell me I'm born in dept of a crime I didn't commit,

and it doesn't tell me I must pray, worship, sacrifice or submit.

It doesn't claim to suspend the laws, or do what can't be done,

It doesn't claim to just 'know' how life or the Universe begun.

It doesn't tell me I'm inferior to men, or gods or priests.

It doesn't toy with the feelings of those who were once loved by the deceased.

It doesn't indoctrinate the young with beliefs held by authorities,

and it doesn't have 'cover up rape and abuse' as one of it's priorities.

It doesn't discourage condoms, and thus promote disease,

It doesn't tell me to beg and grovel on my knees.

Atheism isn't often offended when someone tells a joke,

And if it ever is offended, war and violence it does not provoke.

It doesn't opress advancements in science, medicine and technology,

and it doesn't have a doctrine, let alone one similar to ancient mythology.

It doesn't justify smashing planes into buildings, or blowing someone up,

It doesn't see a world outside reality and if that bothers you, well, that's tough!

It doesn't commit horrific deeds and then demand respect,

There aren't a thousand versions and another thousand sects.

It doesn't have a fancy icon like the cresant moon, cross or star,

and it doesn't encourage me to wear costumes that are ridiculous and bizarre.

It doesn't close the shops and stores on certain days of the week,

and it doesn't pounce on people when their lives are hard and bleak.

Now, I've told you what atheism isn't and what it doesn't do,

and if you go and look it up, you'll see that what I've said is true.

Because, atheism means 'godless'- that and that alone,

it's a response to a claim; and I can only hope that one day this will be better known.

Fathers Day

Yes, I am a bit late. We had a busy weekend here so I didn't get a chance to sit down and write anything up though I was thinking about it a good portion of the weekend.

Father's Day is an interesting one for me. I never really "met" my biological father. He was around until I was about 2 but I have no memory of any of that so it doesn't really count. I found out that he died not terribly long ago from a heart attack at the age of like 53. I feel like that is supposed to matter to me more, but it doesn't. I never knew him so it doesn't make much difference to me, other than to know that genetically, I need to acquire/maintain health because he had a bad heart.

Then there is my step-father R. I wasn't ever a big fan of him though I didn't fully realize it until after the fact. He was difficult to live with, very moody, very stubborn and there was a lot of walking on eggshells. He was very entitled and very centered around himself. He was also very judgmental, racist, and a huge bigot.

I say "was" not because he also died, but because I haven't seen him since my parents divorced when I was 17, I am now nearly 27. He tried a few times to "buy" me back with money and gift cards but when he didn't get the "proper" response he gave up quite quickly.

It sounds like I could easily be bitter or mad at him doesn't it? What is interesting to me is that I am not. Now, I don't want any contact with him and I am not interested in having him in my life at all, but I am not angry with him either.

I learned a lot of valuable lessons from the 14 years that I had to spend with him. I learned how to deal with people I don't want to be around...how to "play nice" if you will. I learned how to identify manipulation and guilt trips (two of my least favorite things ever). I learned how to be a pretty good judge of character. I also learned how to read people pretty quickly as it was a day to day battle to figure out if he was happy/angry/grouchy/full out mad etc. Being able to read people's emotions is a VERY useful skill to have for day to day life and is one I have used countless times even in the last week.

Like I said, it would be easy to be resent him, but what good would that do? Plus look at all the skills I have taken away from the whole experience.

Now I have a wonderful husband and two lovely (and crazy) kids so Father's Day is a little bit different. Of course my husband really doesn't like most holidays so we don't do anything special, but it is a great reminder to me of how happy I am that my children have such a great father. He might not always do things the way I think he should but he does things the way that works for him and LOVES those kids with all his being. It is a wonderful feeling.

Exercise

So, recently I have started exercising.

Let me start by explaining that this is a WHOLE new world for me. I had a crazy metabolism when I was younger and could pack away whatever I wanted for food, no matter how bad, and wouldn't gain an ounce. I had flat abs and good legs. Thin thighs. The works. I never once had to do anymore exercise than I got by just existing in a day to get that way.

Then I got pregnant with my son. I gained 40 pounds. I have to say, that was difficult for me, to see the scale go up and up and up. I had been the same weight since 7th grade so packing on the pounds wasn't fun. That said, after he was born, within 6 weeks, I had lost all of the weight. It was a little bit crazy and I blame most of it on the over production of milk that I had since I was nursing.

Then when my son was 14 months old, I got pregnant with my daughter. I figured it wouldn't be so bad when I saw the scale climb up and up and up, again gaining that same 40 pounds. I figured I would lose it all again with no trouble since it fell right off the first time. Unfortunately I was incorrect and the weight just stuck right to me.

It wasn't so much the weight that was the real issue for me it was the way I felt. I FELT heavy and unhealthy. I didn't have as much spring in my step and was a little depressed that I couldn't rebound like I did with my son.

I would try, off and on, to do exercise to try to help the weight come down and I verrrrrrrrrry slowly lost the weight.

Only recently did I finally find an exercise routine that I like, that I can stick with, and that is actually showing me results.

I had tried 30 Day Shred and while I don't doubt it works wonderfully for a lot of people, for my body type it wasn't doing anything other than making me want to throw things at the TV. I happened to ask in a forum I am part of what people suggest for someone that doesn't really need to lose weight but REALLY needs to tone up and exercise and someone suggested The Body Sculpting Bible for Women.

I figured it couldn't hurt and it didn't cost anymore than a normal exercise DVD so I gave it a go. I ordered that and a set of weights and got started. The program itself is very simple, at least on the section that I am doing. Since I have never really exercised before, much less done weight lifting, I am doing a "break in" work out that lets your muscles get accustomed to being used.

On weights days I have 8 exercises that I do 2 sets of. It takes me maybe 20 minutes a day. Then on non-weights days it is cardio and ab exercises. The cardio can be anything...for 20 minutes. Running, jogging, walking, Just Dance, yoga, etc and the abs are just crunches and leg raises. Nothing difficult and nothing that leaves me feeling as though I want throw things or sit in the corner and cry.

I am happy to say I have completed 5 weeks of this new routine and finally found something I can STICK with that actually shows results.

My strength has gotten a lot better, I have abs, biceps, and leg muscles again. I feel healthier and stronger. I am setting a good example for the kids. My mood is improved as a result of the exercise as well. I haven't lost much weight (only about 3 pounds) but again, I didn't really expect to or even want to, I just wanted to change the shape of my body and so far it is changing just the way I want it to.

The only downside? My engagement/wedding rings are getting a little loose!

Questions about Atheism: Answered

I posted a blog a week ago welcoming questions about atheism in general and my atheism and received 8 questions. Below are the 8 questions with my answers. If you have anymore questions after reading this or need me to clarify anything please let me know I will be happy to help.

I hope you enjoy and I hope it gives you a little more information about myself and possibly other atheists.

1- What was your upbringing like? Were you raised agnostic?

My very early life was Christian based. My mom was living with my aunt and both were single moms. I don’t remember a whole lot about that time as I was quite young, not more than 3 or 4 years old, but I do remember the 2 moms would load all 6 of us kids up and we would go to church. I remember learning songs like “Yes Jesus Loves Me,” but that is about it.

As I grew older I know God was mentioned from time to time and I had a Bible Stories for Children book. I remember a couple of the stories from that book but being most interested in Sampson and Delilah for some reason. I also remember being extremely confused about the concept of a holy trinity and how God could be God AND Jesus. The whole thing boggled my poor little pre-teen mind.

God wasn’t a daily thing in much of my life but it was present from time to time. Once in awhile my mom and my brother would go to church. I can remember going a time or two but thinking it was silly to need to go to church to worship someone that I was told was “everywhere” so I didn’t go very often.

So, long story short, I was raised semi-Christian but not in a way that directly influenced my belief or non-belief in God. I would say at that point I was closest to being a deist as I figured a higher power was possible to start the world but I didn’t really think of it as the Christian described being.

2- At what point in your life were you able to put the label of agnostic on your beliefs? What events (if any) led to that?

I am not really sure I can pin this down. I remember as a 6 or 7 year old child being a bit “creeped out” that God watched us all the time (as I was told). I wondered if he would watch while I showered and such and that didn’t leave me with a good feeling.

I can say I have always been a skeptic so I never really believed the way most people that do, do. I thought it was a neat idea etc but I didn’t actually expect anything to come of my prayers and never heard God speak to me etc.

It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started really identifying as an atheist, but mostly because I hadn’t really thought about it much until that time. I also took a class 2 semesters ago about Genesis and that really cemented it in for me. I am of the mind that you can’t take part of the Bible as literal without accepting all of it as literal (how do you tell myth from what is real otherwise?) so even the idea of Noah’s Ark seemed silly and unbelievable to me. There was also a lot of messed up stuff in Genesis upon further reading that turned me off quite a bit.

3- What do you want me to know about you and your beliefs?

I am not sure really. I would want you to know that I don’t think people that do believe in a God or gods are foolish. I understand why many believe and why it would be a positive thing for some people and know of at least a few Christians in particular that are amazing, wonderful people and feel as though they can give that credit to Jesus. I am completely okay with that.

I like to think of all people as people so I have a difficult time when religious groups (not just Christians) act out against gay rights or women’s rights etc.

4- Are there things I do in my day-to-day life (apart from the obvious prayer before meal type situations) in which I am pushing my (general my) beliefs on you without realizing it?

The only time religion really impacts my day to day life is when it applies to politics. One really touchy issue for me is gay marriage, which some Christians are using the Bible to fight against. There is no real downside to gay marriage from my point of view. More income via marriage licenses and weddings, happy couples able to get married, etc and the only reasons I have heard against it are that the Bible is against it/God doesn’t like gay people, or that it “breaks down” the fabric of marriage because a “marriage” is between a man and a woman. I really dislike when other peoples religions are used to force through political agendas.

5- What is the point of anyone being alive if we are just to die and go nowhere?

Why does there have to be a point? I don’t think there is a specific purpose to my life. I am living because I was born that way and I want to live, I enjoy life, I like watching my kids grow up and I love the smell of leaves in the fall. So far as I know my purpose in life is to enjoy it while it lasts, because I only get so much of it, and to try to have a positive impact on society.

6- How can you be sure that there is NO god? because we are talking about atheism not agnostic.

You have to be careful with these terms because while they complement each other, they are not dealing with the same topics. Theism deals with belief, gnosticism deals with knowledge, so I'm actually an agnostic atheist(the vast majority are agnostic atheists), because I both do not claim to know if a god exists and also do not believe. There are also gnostic atheists(not very common) who both do not believe and also claim to know there are no gods. So to answer the question I am most certainly not sure, but being not sure has nothing to do with the truth of the claim or my belief in it. Agnosticism must be qualified, one can be agnostic toward many things, I'm agnostic with respect to leprechauns as well.


7- Is there a way to prove to people that there is NO God?

First of all you can’t prove a negative, but aside from that I highly doubt it. The burden of proof is always on those that claim a position, its not my job to prove or disprove. I also don’t really think there is a place for proof in the world of theism, its all about belief and faith. I can’t prove your personal belief “wrong” because it just a belief.

If I said to you can you PROVE that Odin wasn’t a real Norse God? That he never existed? Wouldn’t you ask the people that believe in Odin to prove he is a true god instead of you trying to disprove it?

8- What is the foundation for morality for an atheist? How can an atheist fight for certain standards and values (i.e., liberty, equality, protection for children, etc)? In other words where do these standards come from and how can they be expected of others?

The morality for most atheists comes from what societies deem moral, if you want to be allowed to stay in your community, you need to follow the rules and be a decent person. It is as basic as what is taught to every child in grade school, treat others the way you would want to be treated. If you want to be around people and in society then you need to do things that don’t get you kicked out. If you kill someone, those in your community will remove you from society by putting you in jail etc. It is about making yourself look at life from another persons perspective and thinking about what you would want if you were them.

This can be seen throughout history, but most recently with slavery. Slavery was once acceptable and the morals of societies at that time did not have anything to say about it, or considered it normal. I’m sure I don’t have to point out that at the time the Bible was written slavery was normal and acceptable, as long as you followed the guidelines. I don’t think God has ever told us that slavery is wrong and immoral, our medical knowledge has simply improved and it became obvious that other races(or lower status families) weren’t “sub-human” and society subsequently deemed it immoral to treat people as property. Today it’s homosexuality, my morals already guide me toward “they are people too and should have the same rights as any person”, and society is slowly moving in that direction. I already mentioned above about religion being one of the main (if not the only) group against gay marriage.

In other words I fight for liberty and equality for all people because I want to be treated equally and have liberty. Its actually quite selfish as I am trying to behave the way I want other people to act towards me.

As to how it is taught, it doesn’t really need to be. Even a young child learns without prompting that if you always steal toys from your buddy, your buddy won’t like you and won’t play anymore.

I’ve seen some amazing videos of teaching in Japan showing very young kids being left alone to resolve issues on their own instead of being broken up and told how to resolve by an adult. They end up resolving the problem the same way many species do, the group excludes the individual that is acting without regard to the group, that individual realizes their mistake and makes an attempt to make amends so they can be a part of the group again. I try as often as possible to leave Mr. A and Ms I alone to work out their own problems, and they almost always work out a mutually beneficial solution all on their own. We don’t need teaching and instructing to be good to each other, its hard wired into us to learn it, and when someone doesn’t participate they are removed.

Questions about Atheism?

I admit, it has been awhile since I have posted. Spring time means more outside time and busy children so I haven't had a lot of time.

I have been trying to decide what to post about and I saw one of my friends blogs where people were asking her about atheism and how it affected her life in various ways. Being that she was from Canada it is slightly different than here in the US, but it was still an interesting thing to read.

So sorry Julie, but I am "stealing" your blog idea.

I am going to leave this blog post up for a week or so and let people ask questions that they may have about atheism. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the subject but I can tell you about my experiences and I do have resources to find the answers to questions that I am not sure about (and will reference them as needed).

So go ahead, if you have ever had a question about atheism, ask. In a week or so, should I get any questions, I will write a post answering them for you.

Insecure Parenting

We recently had a big day in our house. Mr. A had a screening for kindergarten as he starts in the fall. It is a big deal of course so I was excited and nervous as I dropped him off yesterday and was more worried that he would be shy than anything else.

I went to pick him up (they have you drop them off for 2 hours) I was excited to see him, see how he did, and see what he thought about the whole thing. Before he saw me, I saw him and for a brief moment, my heart stopped. All the kids had made bracelets and necklaces but Mr. A had picked pink and purple. I quickly recovered what I am sure was a look of shock before he saw me and went to get him, complete with a big hug.

Now, I have no issues with pink and purple for a boy. He has always enjoyed painting finger nails, wearing tutus, picking pink paper instead of blue, and stealing my skirts to wear as dresses. None of that bothers me in the least.

For that moment when my heart stopped, I was worrying about what the other kids were going to say to him or if anyone had said anything to him.

We all know most mothers want to do what they can to keep kids safe and happy and I am no different in that respect. I am also painfully aware of how hard it can be when other kids decide you are "different" and start pointing that out.

Part of what got me about the situation is I wasn't prepared for it. I hadn't seen it coming at all. If he had decided he wanted to bring a purse to school I would have let him, and I would have explained to him that some of the other kids might think that is silly and might say things to him, but that it is totally okay to bring a purse if he wants to. I felt ill prepared as I hadn't thought of color prefernces.

I talked to him about what he thought of "school". He told me he had a great time and really liked it, so I was able to breathe a sigh of relief as it seems the other kids didn't notice his choice of beads, or if they did, they didn't care (which isn't THAT surprising at 5 years old).

The whole thing brought up my own insecurities as a parent. More than anything in the world I want my children to be accepted and loved. I know in reality most kids get bullied (even the bullies) but I also know that a boy that likes pink and purple is a more likely target than some of the others.

We all know that kids can be cruel and adults can be even more so. Sometimes people don't accept things that are "different".

I would NEVER dream of telling my son that pink is a "girl" color or tell him to go play in the woods instead of pretending to be a princess. I love him 100% and I want him to be the person that he is. I just hope I am able to raise him to be strong enough to handle what comes his way, no matter what, and to know that his Mama is ALWAYS here and will never judge him, only offer love and support when he needs it.

Update on 365 and Beyond

So I am sad to admit that I have given up on Project 365. I didn't intend on it but life is getting in the way and I am just taking photos as they come and putting them on facebook etc. I enjoyed it while I did it, but I know life is just going to get crazier the further into spring I get.

I hope to keep posting photos every so often but it won't be happening everyday like I was. I will have more updates and posts as they come up and as I have a chance to write about them but for now, the majority of pictures are done.

Pizza Dough!

I decided that tomorrow night we are going to build our own pizzas for dinner. I figure the kids will have a BLAST picking what to put on their pizzas and it is all from scratch (except the cheese, I haven't learned to make that on my own yet).

So I got my dough book out and made an olive oil bread dough that will be rolled out flat and made into pizza by the kids tomorrow night!

First Nice Day

Book List

So I totally missed yesterday. Booo. We were out and about a great deal and I just forgot. So here is today's post instead.

Today's post is my little sticky note with my list of books that I have read this year. So far there aren't many. I have managed 4 and have started a 5th. Now, considering the only time I really read is right before bed, it isn't a half bad list.

This list doesn't show Dark Tower Book 1 Gunslinger because I got about halfway through it and decided it was garbage and I wanted nothing to do with it. I know a LOT of people disagree with me on that book but I just couldn't get into it. I did try, honest.

Last night I started Hunger Games which is a fiction book written towards young adults. After my heavier non-fiction reading I wanted something quick and easy and this seems to fit the bill quite nicely.

Spring/summer is coming and I will have much more time to read on the front steps while the kids run around and play. Then I will actually start making a dent in my reading I hope!

The "Fridge"

I always heard growing up (and now in the parenting world) that a child's arts and crafts go on the fridge. As it happens we don't have many magnets and those that we DID have were run off with by the children.

What this means is that in our house when the kids do a craft it gets taped up to the window in the kitchen. We have these great big double windows that the table is in front of and each kid sits on one side. So when they do a craft it gets taped up on "their" side.

We HAD some snowflakes up there but with spring coming I couldn't stand it anymore so I took those down and we did a craft where they got to pick stickers off a sheet (flowers, butterflies, frogs, trees, etc) and put them on a piece of blank paper where they wanted. They also did a trace of their names where I dotted lined their full names for them and they "wrote" their names with crayon.

You can also see a little peak of Ms. I's clothespin stegosaurus we made last summer. It has managed to stay up and she is QUITE fond of it, so it hangs out there. Plus it isn't seasonal so Mama lets it stay put as well.

Clean Sink

Well, as clean as my sink gets anyway.

Last night I prepped some lasagna for dinner at the inlaws today. After I did that I decided I would do the dishes.

My reward was coming downstairs this morning to a perfectly empty sink. It was lovely.

Lentil Shep Pie

Mmmm Breakfast

We went to my inlaws house yesterday and my mother in law found a waffle iron she had from awhile ago but never used, so she passed it on to me. I decided I wanted waffles this morning so I made them up using a wheat batter recipe I found online. Then I topped mine (the kids got plain and loved them) with cut up strawberries and a bit of cabot whipped cream.

Imagine my surprise, upon putting the info into myfitnesspal, to find that my whole breakfast only had 10 grams of sugar in it! This is compared to a 1/4 cup of maple syrup which has 53 grams of sugar in it (not counting the little bit in the waffle itself).

Meanwhile I am finding that I PREFER the taste of the way I topped it today! YUM!

Being Healthy

I am 26 years old. That is about half the age of my biological father when he died. I never really knew him so it didn't "bother" me that much but his cause of death really does bother me. In his mid 50's he died of a heart attack. He had several heart attacks (from my understanding) before that final one and it is really a wake up call for me.

Now I am "thin", I have the correct BMI for my height, etc, however I *know* I am not healthy. I don't eat enough veggies, I don't eat enough fruit, and I was eating FAR too much sugar.

Diabetes, obesity, heart disease, and a myriad of other ailments run in my family. These are bad things folks, things I don't want to have to worry about as I age. With the genetic background I have, being healthy is even more important.

So, 3 weeks ago I decided to start exercising. I wasn't interesting in losing weight, I knew I likely wouldn't given that I am at a "healthy" weight already for my height. I also know that muscle weighs more than fat so if I toned up I actually expected to GAIN weight.

Admittedly I don't do a LOT of exercise. I do a 20-30 minute DVD a day along with the normal chasing after children/housework that a stay at home mom does. I have a yoga DVD with 6 20 minute works outs, I have 30 Day Shred with 3 20 minute work outs, I have No More Trouble Zones with a 40/50 minute work out on it (you can pick and chose any of the 6 minute circuits), and I have a 6 Week 6 Pack that has 2 30 minute work outs. However, even just 20 minutes a day, 70 days a week is 140 minutes of exercise a week...that is over 2 hours that I wasn't getting before. These are all also pretty intense exercise with cardio and strength training all in one. It is a big step for my health, for sure.

The other REALLY big step I took 3 weeks ago was cutting out as much sugar from my diet as I could. It was pretty difficult at first. I had been eating 100 to 150 grams of "added" sugar a day (candy, cookies, brownies, etc). This wasn't from fruit or juice, it was from the "bad" stuff. Since then I have cut down to 30-50 grams of added sugar a day. It is a pretty big jump for someone that LOVED candy as much as I did.

You see that? "Did". The oddest thing for me since cutting out the baked goods and the candy has been the total lack of desire for these things. Now, don't get me wrong, those first days were HARD, really hard. I walked down the aisle with the Easter candy and it was extremely difficult to keep my hands off the mini eggs and the peanut butter eggs, but I did it.

I do have the occasional chocolate chips (semi-sweet) and I even got Nantucket Dark Chocolate cookies from the store and have one a day if I want them (only 9 grams of sugar per cookie). However I don't even find myself WANTING these anymore. I made brownies today because I love to bake and it seemed like a fun activity. They are still sitting there on the stove completely untouched. I have NO desire to eat them. Zero. I am hungry, I want food at the moment, but I find myself thinking about cheese or an apple or maybe a bagel thin with peanutbutter...but NOT the brownies on the stove.

I am working on slowly adding in more fruits and veggies but I admit that veggies are a new thing to me so finding ones that I like and figuring out what to do with them has been hit or miss. I know I like corn, peas, potatoes, sweet potatoes and even lettuce. Beyond that it is a challenge for me. I am hoping though, that with persistence, I can change my tastes to be fond of these things. I already know that taste buds can change, I have proven that with the decrease in sugar, I just hope that they keep working towards liking green beans and carrots.

All the while, I am trying to set a decent example for my children in activity, trying to be healthy, food, and not "dieting".

Snow. Lots of Snow.

We got the 3rd biggest snow storm in our states history on Sunday into Monday. We ended up with 25.3 inches of snow. Wow.

This is the road that I live on. My husband had snowblowed a path for the car down to the road only to find the road had just as much snow as the driveway. Cars are suppose to drive on this...didn't work out so well.

Playing in Puddles

Just Some Bread

So I tried my hand at 100% whole wheat bread today. It seems to have come out bread like and I plan to use it for grilled cheeses tonight (I hope). I used this recipe only I used 8.5 cups of whole wheat flour instead of any bread flour. I also read in the comments that if you make it two loaves instead of 3 it works better for bread. So I went with that.

Playing

For Christmas my kids got a Dora and Diego (I think??) book where the two people have magnets in their hands and stick to various things in the book. The book is like a story that these two "dolls" walk through etc.

Well, my kids, being kids, found out by throwing said dolls that they stick to metal items like our lamp and our baseboard heaters. From there a super fun game started where they would toss the dolls into the air and see where they landed. This particular time it landed on the lamp and that was extremely exciting.

Another Lunch!

This lunch was prettier to look at so I wanted to show it off.

Scrambled eggs (with cheese and a few spices), clementine, and lettuce. They will likely eat all of that and request a few animal crackers when they are done too. I am happy to have good lunch eaters.

The Great Paint Debate!

So we have lived here for almost 2 years now and I am getting tired of the paint that came with the place (mostly just white). I have slowly been painting rooms as I am able...both the kids bedrooms, the playroom, and the downstairs bathroom. I have had free range to pick the colors for those rooms and my husband hasn't said a word.

I am working on picking a color for the livingroom as well probably going to settle on a light yellow-ish color because it gets very little sun light and has a lot of dark wood.

The debate part you ask? I want to paint my bedroom purple. All of a sudden husband has input. He doesn't approve of a purple bedroom. Why? I have no idea. He isn't a manly man, he doesn't care that our son wanders about in tutus or carrying purses, he isn't very set on gender role issues...but for whatever reason, as soon as I said purple bedroom he said NO. Meanwhile, the only time he sees the bedroom is at night when it is dark the room could be magenta and he wouldn't know it.

So now I have to decide if I just ignore him and know paint isn't permanent or try to come up with some other color I love just as much.

The color I am thinking about is the one called "Your Highness". I was tempted to go to the one just a smidge darker than that but I know once it is on the walls it will look darker so I went up a color scale. It seems like the *perfect* color for a sunny bedroom. It does look a *little* more gray in this photo than it actually is, but there are gray undertones in there.

Rainy Day Thaw

Today is an odd mix of rain and sleet (but thankfully no snow). My back gutters are dripping all over the place, I know that isn't ideal but it is nice to see the melting happening instead of it just sitting up there cold.

Of course, this is New England, and though it may be 38ish and rain/sleeting today...it is going to be back to a high of about 18 for Thursday. Weather doesn't last long here in the pre-spring.

Fries

Ignore my gross oven door.

This is the result of me still going strong with the lack of grocery shopping. If I get to Saturday it will be just about 3 weeks since I went "real" grocery shopping and I shouldn't have any trouble getting there. I did hit the store yesterday for a few staples (plain yogurt, fruit, lettuce, etc) but it amounted to $19 worth of stuff. Not exactly breaking the bank.

I had a potato left, one lone, sad potato. So I opted to take it, cut it up, toss it in some olive oil and a little salt and toss on a baking sheet to make french fries to go with lunch. Yum!

Pre-Spring Snow Storm

This is one of my least favorite types of snow. The kind that goes sideways. It has stuck to our kitchen windows (and all the windows on the back side/ bottom floor) of our house. No screens or anything, just stuck straight to the window. Our kitchen is now very dark because the snow is blocking that light. Evil snow. The plus side is, as it looks now, we are suppose to get a 45ish degree rainstorm on Monday (after tomorrows high of 18 degrees). Just another sign of the approach of spring around here!

Our Little Oddity

So, apparently, this is what happens when a 12oz can of polar seltzer is filled up too full by the company. We opened it and it flowed over a little bit and stayed like this until we drank it.

Sugar

I have decided that sugar is about the most evil thing that exists.

I have always consumed a lot of sugar, for as far back as I can remember. After I had kids this became a problem for some reason or another. I am guessing it relates to hormones because they seem to be responsible for a lot of not so great things.

When I eat too much sugar I suffer from yeast trouble. NO not just *down there*. I get trouble from it with bad skin, I get cranky, I get fatigued, and the most annoying trouble of all is it makes my IBS flare (assuming that my IBS isn't simply sugar/yeast related).

So, after yet another bought with these issues, I have decided to do my best to cut out the sugar. Sugar is in EVERYTHING. Even yogurt, which is generally seen as healthy, has 20+ grams of sugar per serving. Obviously the plain doesn't but the grab n go flavored ones do.

It means little to no juice etc as well.

The biggest problem I have? Chocolate. I LOVE chocolate.

The most difficult thing I have done in quite awhile, was done about 30 mins ago. I had to go to the store to grab a couple of quick things and I was craving sugar like crazy. Of course, I had to walk by all the Easter candy, which includes one of my favorite candy's, cadbury mini-eggs. I love them.

It was almost as though there was some sort of gravity pulling me toward the candy. I managed to steer away from it, but it was extremely difficult.

The other problem is now I am in the withdrawal phase of getting rid of sugar. I have headaches and bad IBS flares. I am super tired. This is "normal" as the yeast dies and release toxins all at once. Since I am not giving them sugar, they are dying because there is nothing to eat. It lasts a few days and I am hoping to be out of the worst of it by tomorrow, but today the headache is pounding and I KNOW that some chocolate, that I want so badly, would make it ALL go away.

As a way to keep myself accountable I am writing down everything I eat. I am not writing down amounts or any of that, but I am writing down WHAT it is that I put in my mouth. It looks like I eat a lot, and it is possible that I do, but I am a grazer and grab a handful of something here and have half a thing there etc.

This was yesterdays list.

Double Post Day!

I had two things I wanted to post about today. I thought about saving one for tomorrow but what is the fun in that?

The first photo I have is of our little dinosaur project. For Christmas the kids got a little dino in an egg. You place it in the water and let it sit there for awhile and eventually the dinosaur grows so big he "hatches" out of his egg. The kids have been begging off and on since Christmas to see what dino we got, so I placed him in the water yesterday. This afternoon this is how he looks.



The kids are quite pleased by him and think he is pretty cool. They were going up every 5 minutes at first waiting to see him and I had to explain, several times, that it takes the dinosaur a little while to grow big first so they had to be patient.

The second thing I wanted to post about today is the great cupboard clean out project.

Normally I go shopping for food every week or so. I had a list all made out for this week and decided, at the last minute that I wasn't going to go. I decided this for two reasons. The first reason I decided this is because I am sure I MUST have enough things in the cupboards to make it through another weeks worth of dinner. I have beans and lentils and all sorts of odds and ends that need to be used up. The second reason is because of my battle on sugar, which I will get into another day when my resolve is a little stronger, but suffice to say if I had gone shopping Sunday as planned I would have left with copious amounts of chocolate which goes against my battle on sugar.

So dinner tonight is a variation on the lentil soup recipe I found here. I didn't have carrots or celery so I opted to use 2 potatoes and used a can of corn to go in there as well. In the end it doesn't get much easier than a crockpot soup and I really enjoy lentils so I figured I would give it a go.

This is a picture of what it looked like when I first put it going this morning. It looks much thicker now as the lentils have plumped up nicely.

Organizing Sunday

This was what Ms. I did with animal crackers. She decided they all needed to be grouped up and matched with buddies, so she did just that.

Snow Melt

This is the progress the snow made in the week. Pretty impressive given the length of time and the fact that one day had a high of about 11 degrees.

Clearly, I Need a Fruit Bowl

Yea....I need something to put all this in that fits it better. The flat plate just doesn't do it.

The Great Melt

So, normally, every year, we get a thaw at the end of January. It is almost always the 3rd week. I don't know why this is, but I can remember it from when I was a kid.

This year, we skipped that. It stayed cold, REALLY cold, all January. It seems the thaw moved to the second week in February this year.

Today the high is 40. Tomorrow it drops back to 11 (brrr!). Then Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are 38, 47, and 52 respectively. I was curious how much the snow would melt on it's own so I took some pictures today and will take another set of the same two places on Saturday to measure the snow melt in just a few days.

Day 44

This is what happens when small children meet Wii. Wii wouldn't work, the disc wouldn't go in. Luckily I have a handy husband and he took it apart and found the trouble with the machine. That is a small felt thing so hard things don't scratch floors, a piece of wood, and part of a starburst wrapper, just so you know.

Day 42 (Signs of Spring)

Winter where I am has a strong hold on the calender. It is "silly" to mention anything about spring in February here, but I do it anyway. It helps me pass the time and it helps me make it until spring really gets here. Today's big development was the sun at after 4:30 this afternoon. Afternoon sun has always been my favorite, just before the sun goes down. Last month the sun had been setting behind my nieghbors house and now it goes SO much beyond their house that it amazes me.

This is a shot of my road at around 4:30 this afternoon with that bright golden sun streaming down, just screaming of the signs of spring.

Getting Through Winter

I have mentioned, on a few occasions, that winter sucks for me. At this point I am counting down the days to when it *might* start getting warm again. We currently have about 2.5 feet of snow here, which is enough that without snowshoes (which I don't own) I can't even walk around my lawn with anything that resembles ease. I will also admit, that while I am sad we had to find a new home for the dog, and I miss her, I am kind of glad I don't have to see how she does in 2.5 feet of snow.

My mailbox is covered. Every time the plow comes by I have to dig it out. Again. We got another 5ish inches of snow last night so my husband will be coming straight home from work and snow blowing, again.

This here, this is my attempt at keeping my sanity through the winter. Just a stupid little candle right? I have four of them right now: Sparkling Mojito, Lilac Blossom, Fresh Lemon, and Caribbean Escape.

They may only be candles, but they bring some bright smells into my otherwise not bright house. They are the scents of summer and spring to remind me that I know spring is coming, it does every year, and that I just need to make it through the rest of February before we start seeing hints of spring and the sun starts feeling just a bit warmer on your skin.

Playroom Fail

So, I have been trying to keep the playroom in a state that isn't "clean" (as I know I can't achieve that, I am realistic) but in at least organized.

I have a place for all the dinosaurs, all the cars, all the kitchen things, all the felt food, all the misc toys, all the books, etc. I have been having a rule of ONE thing out at a time. If you want to play duplos you need to put away cars first etc.

It seems I have failed at this for a couple of days as this was the state of our playroom this morning. Dinos laying on cars, cake in the middle of "town", toys everywhere. Luckily, we got it all cleaned up and back in the correct places but for a bit there, it was pretty scary in the playroom.

Close eyes. Draw Batman.

I am not an artist to start with but here is my closed-eyed attempt.

Sunshine

So, as many in the North do, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disoder (SAD). This happens because of the lack of sunlight and vitamin D that happens in the northern hemisphere during winter.

In the summer I am fine. I like to sit on the porch and read books in the sunshine. It is warm and feels so good on my skin, completely relaxing.

In the winter I get depressed and go into hibernation. I deal with winter a few different ways. I try to go outside as much as I am able, even if it is just to shovel the driveway, again. It helps not only to get the fresh air, but it also helps in terms of exercise. Exercise is of course, one of the first recommended ways to deal with depression because there are only positive side effects (except for those with severe medical issues of course).

Before I got pregnant with my son I would go tanning once a week. It really helped me feel uplifted and happy, a little pick me up in the middle of winter. Now I am not a fan of skin cancer of course, but once a week in the grand scheme of things, isn't too horrible.

Another way I cope is to have this special calender on the fridge. It sounds trivial but it really gives me something to focus on that is positive. I print off my calender from this site.

Back in December the sun set here at 4:12pm. It was very difficult to handle. Now, in February we are back to a 5pm sunset time so it is light until about 5:30 or so.

This is the print off for the month of February where I am.

Another Look at Lunch

Here is another look at our lunches. Most of the time I throw together bits and pieces of whatever is around.

Today's lunch is:

Yogurt
String cheese
Some leftover fruit that we had with dinner last night
Cinnamon muffin (small homemade kind, not big store kind)
Celery sticks
Glob of PB for celery sticks

Again, maybe not the "best" I could do if I tried harder but they enjoy these foods and all the food groups are represented so we go with it. I think we might have pizza for tomorrows lunch, oh the horrors!

Day 30 + A Moms Reality.

I spent most of Friday cleaning. I did three loads of laundry, dishes, swept and steam mopped all the floors downstairs, fixed up the kids playroom, cleaned up the kitchen etc. All added to the normal parenting things like breaking up fights and gathering meals.

Imagine my (lack of) surprise to find that the kitchen needed, desperately, to be swept again.

This s what has gathered just since Friday afternoon (it is Sunday afternoon now) in JUST the kitchen. It is like a constant state of deja vu. I have done dishes again today as well as two loads of laundry.

*sigh*

Day 27 + A Few Other Things

So we have pets. I love pets. We had 2 cats and a dog.

I haven't seen my black and white cat, M, since we got the dog in July. She has been on my bed upstairs or in her "room" with the litterbox/food as far away from the dog as possible. If the dog had been in its crate for a lengthy time the cat would eventually make her way downstairs, but she was extremely unhappy.

Then last weekend the dog decided it would try to bite Mr. A. Now, she didn't do much damage, just a scratch from her teeth, but she was NOT happy with Aaron and he was only doing something he had done 100 times before with zero issues, she had even enjoyed it. The "damage" wasn't serious.

I gotta say, that spooked me and totally knocked my trust in her. I was not happy about it. I was also really unhappy that there was no warning. There was no growl first, there was no lip raising, there was no shifty eyes, it was GROWLbite. Scared the shit out of Mr. A.

I am sure it was probably just a case of her knowing that she wasn't top of the pack over myself, my husband, or my daughter, but because my son played with her etc she saw him more on his level and decided she would try to assert herself, maybe coupled with feeling "trapped" in some form. However, I also know that had she been a big dog like a shepherd or a husky or something she would have been in a new home lickety split.

Now, I love the dog. She has always been a great animal. I hmm'ed and hawww'ed for several days but ended up placing her in another home. After considering not only the actions with my son but how extremely unhappy my cat of 5 years was I opted to find her a new home. She now lives with a retired couple in the country. She will go everywhere with the man (he is disabled) and she has another dog in the house that is her size to play with, and they are getting along wonderfully.

I talked with the kids before she went to her new home. Ms.I didn't care at all (not that I expected her to) and Mr. A was mostly upset because he thought maybe I was going to find *him* a new home. I explained to him that he was with Mama and Mama would never, ever find him a new home. I had them both give the dog hugs and kisses and tell her goodbye before she left.

The whole situation has been very difficult for me. I worked for an animal shelter before I had kids. I know that when you adopt a pet it is suppose to be "forever". The guilt that I felt while considering finding her a new home was all consuming. It went against everything I have thought for years. However, I knew in my heart, in my gut, that it would be better for all (including the dog) if she went to a new home.

I am very glad she found as good a home as she did though. She will be the center of attention and get to go on lots of car rides and play all day with the other dog. We miss her but it helps to know she is probably happier where she is now.

You remember that cat I mentioned at the start? As *soon* as the dog left, not 10 minutes later, not 5 minutes later, as SOON as it was gone....down came the cat.

Here is said gloating cat from this afternoon. She is quite happy to have "her" house back and to be part of the family again.

Day 26

So my Grandma isn't getting any younger. She is just about in her mid-80's. A few years ago she gave me a paint by number bird scene that she had painted and it was nice but I didn't have a whole lot of places to put it.

This summer I painted our bathroom downstairs so, I sent the picture to my mother in law because she does framing and got that painting my Grandma made me framed up real nice.

Now it hangs in my house and makes the walls look pretty. The kids love it and talk about the "birds" in the bathroom and I get to have a great keepsake from my Grandma that I know she made just for me.

Day 25 + A Proud Mama

So normally I am not a person that brags. I try to be humble about this. However I am so proud of my little man that I simply can't contain it anymore so here it comes.

He starts Kindergarten this September, in less than 8 months. We haven't really been "schooling" him here but when letters/numbers/colors come up we go with it and work on it a little just like we have done since he was a baby (and do with his sister as well).

He not only knows all his letters and the sounds they make, he also knows a few "special" combination of letters like "th" and "ph" and "sh". He can sound out words and read whole sentences this way on his own.

He has been working on writing his letters as well. He has a few that are tricky but today he figured out the "up down, up down" of the M and was SO excited. This is a picture of this mornings letters on his magna doodle. M was a favorite but there are T, B, H, A, and a few others in there as well.



He also knows all his numbers, up to at least 40 (probably 50 in reality). He can read a digital clock and has a basic understand of analog clocks.

He of course knows all his colors. He knows several dinosaurs and knows what brand of cars a lot of his cars are.

The child is just a sponge that wants to know everything and anything. Always full of questions and always listening to the reasons for things. He really enjoys nature shows (like Planet Earth etc) and has learned a lot about nature through asking questions.

I am so proud of this little guy. Always on the quest for knowledge and soaking it right up into his (rather large) head.

Voices

So, I am looking for some input here.

In my quest to understand thing from someone else's point of view I have started watching this play list on youtube. It is about a man that grew up a Christian and eventually became an atheist. He goes in depth with a lot of what he felt when he was a Christian and it helped me to understand things a little better.

As an example, he explained the feeling he got from church and feeling as though the Holy Spirit was in him as being a feeling that others get when something makes them extremely happy and makes tears well up in their eyes etc. At first this was a little lost on me but my husband explained it to me more in a way I understand, as apparently I am slightly emotionally stunted or something.

My husband explained that it was like the feeling I get when I watch the Christian the Lion Story on youtube. It is a feeling where my heart swells and feels as though it might burst. I get a little teary eyed and it makes me feel a connection to these people and this lion that I have never known.

Suddenly that all made sense. For this man (the gentleman on youtube), got that same feeling when he thought about God and felt like God was with him. I understood if people "felt" God in this way then it seemed completely reasonable that they would keep looking for that, it is a great feeling.

I kept watching through this playlist and got to a section last night when he was talking about how he felt when God was "talking to him." He was speaking as if this was a totally normal occurrence and there was nothing odd about it. As if this was something that every person, regardless of religion, experienced. This wasn't suppose to be just a feeling, or a thought, but an actual voice speaking to him.

I turned to my husband and said, "Am I the only one that *doesn't* hear voices?" He seemed to think I wasn't, as he doesn't either, but I was genuinely confused by this.

I then told my husband, "If I ever heard a voice in my head, I would be extremely frightened and probably check myself in somewhere that I could get good medication." I was (and still am) completely baffled by this. Now don't get me wrong, I hear my inner thoughts sometimes, like as I type I am forming this in my head and I can "hear" it, but I am never joined by any other voice other than my own thoughts, if that makes any sense.

Now, admittedly I haven't finish all 19 parts (and growing I think) parts of his playlist. I am 11 or 12 parts in, so maybe there is more coming up that will help me understand. I do however highly recommend what I have seen so far as it give an insight I wouldn't have seen otherwise.

This isn't meant to make light of other people that do hear voices (of God or otherwise). I am just trying to see if maybe someone has more information out there, or another way to explain it that doesn't make it seem so foreign to me, much in the way my husband helped me understand the feeling some people get from God.

Cold and Day 24

So here in New England today, everyone knows it has been chilly.

This is a picture of frost on the *inside* of the windows in my sons bedroom. It was a balmy -14*F when I got up this AM. I know it isn't the coldest out there, I know there are others that are even colder, however, its still pretty chilly!

Tomorrow is suppose to get all the way up to 27 and I get the idea that will feel quite warm.

Couch to 5K Update

Well people.

I am afraid I have to say...I stopped the C25K plan.

My knees weren't tolerating it at all. It got to the point where my knees were giving out going up the stairs, not to mention the pain.

I know I was running "correctly" on my feet. I tried a couple of different shoes. I tried an ace bandage on the worst knee (my left, the one that is always evil).

I was getting nowhere. My husband said I had to "push through" the pain but the reality is a knee that decides to give out whenever it pleases isn't so great when you carry (heavy) children up and downstairs on a daily basis.

So, I am not sure where this leaves me. I can walk. I can do yoga. I can even manage to do 30 Day Shred. For whatever reason my knees don't like running (at least on the treadmill). I might try again this spring when I can run outdoors, maybe it won't be as hard on the knees.

*Sigh*

Project 365 Day 19 + Movies

Here is a screencap of my current Netflix queue.



I like a wide array of movies. I do have a special place in my heart for "bad" horror movies. I love the Halloween movies in a way I can't explain. I have seen Halloween more times than I can count and can't wait until it comes out in Blu-Ray as a box set.

I also like the occasional laugh. I find that I have a different sense of humor than the masses so the normal funny movies just don't do it for me.

I do like thrillers quite a bit. I enjoy trying to figure out what is going to happen with each part of the movie.

I like dramas sometimes. I find that a lot of them don't do much for me. I am not bothered by movies lime Armageddon, I find that movie stupid. Normal people cry during that movie (so I am told)...I laugh instead.

So there is my little insight to the movies I watch.

Project 365 Day 17 + Brightening

So winter in the North is not easy. At it's worst, the sun sets at 4:12pm, what sun you get is extremely weak, and November/December have the lowest amount of sun hours per month because it is constantly cloudy.

I like things to try and keep touches of "life" in my house since we can't have the windows open when it is 0 degrees out. This is an amaryllis that I was given for Christmas coming to the end of its first bloom, with another few to go before it hibernates.

I need to get a few more plants of some sort, but for now, this pretty, vibrant, colorful plant is my friend.

Project 365 Day 15 + Motherhood

I love being a mom. Nothing makes me happier than a brilliant smile from one of my kids.

I am also a stay at home mom so I am dealing with my children all day by myself. I love them to pieces but Monday morning at 8am is pretty hard around here. Both my kids are at stages where they want to talk constantly and being young, they don't need coffee in the least. Indoor voices aren't something they seem to be capable of at 8am and both always try to talk over each other.

Then they look at me and say "Mama I yuv you and yike you a yot." None of the noise matters anymore after I hear that. I have done my job.

Being a stay at home mom also means I am in charge of all the housework. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, catboxes, garbage, meal planning, and grocery shopping are all on my "to do" lists just about everyday.

Then I sit and snuggle on the couch with my kids while reading a book and I forget about the 4 loads of laundry waiting upstairs to be folded and I forget about unloading the dishwasher. Those can wait, we can only read books for so long. No doubt before I know it they will be spending all their time in their rooms or with friends, not wanting to sit and snuggle with mom.

So, I will enjoy the responsibility and handle the noise, because in the blink of an eye it will be all but silent in my home.

Project 365 Day 14 + Biology

So, this post might be a little too strong for some readers. Not in a "bad" sort of way, but in a "too much information" kind of way. It is a subject near and dear to my heart and something that I am quite passionate about, for many reasons.

I read a lot on the internet. I read several message boards some geared towards women, some geared towards me, and some geared towards mothers. One thing that I found astounding is how few people have even the slightest clue about fertility or how the female reproductive system works.

I am not quite sure why so little seems to be known about it but I can say, until I became pregnant, I didn't really have much of a clue either. I had never really been taught how babies were made aside from the normal "sperm +egg = baby".

When I got pregnant I stumbled upon information. I became curious not only about HOW I got pregnant but how birth control was suppose to work. It had never occurred to me to find out how hormonal birth control was suppose to work. What I found was interesting and caused me to look deeper into fertility as a whole.

Both of my children were surprises and what struck me, especially with my son, was how people can try for years and be unable to become pregnant but I could be taking measures to prevent pregnancy and have it fail on me.

What I learned, not until 21 years old, was that birth control works by convincing your body that you are already pregnant so there is no need for it to release another egg. In the simplest terms, hormonal birth control works, primarily, by preventing ovulation.

For some women, it seems, these hormones aren't strong enough and the body doesn't believe that it is pregnant, so it releases an egg anyway. The secondary ways hormonal birth control are by thickening the mucous at the cervix (entrance to the reproductive tract) to make it hostile to sperm and by causing the lining of the uterus to thin so that it is hostile to a fertilized egg. Sometimes, again, the hormones aren't high enough to prevent these things either and a woman becomes pregnant despite the all of these ways that the hormones try to prevent it. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

From here I started to wonder how the female reproductive system actually works, so I started doing some research and I found some things that I thought to be shocking. I learned that in an entire cycle, there are only about seven or eight days that a woman is capable of becoming pregnant. Seven or eight. It makes all those unplanned pregnancies even more crazy doesn't it? Sperm can only really live in a woman for five days, some sources say up to six but that is stretching it. The egg only lives for 24 hours. So the seven or eight days a woman can get pregnant are the six days before ovulation, ovulation day, and the one day after ovulation.

The problem of course is that nature is nature. The purpose of existing, from a biological standpoint, is to reproduce and spread your genetics to another generation. This is something that happens beyond a conscious level, even people don't want children, but aren't on birth control, will usually see an increase in sex drive in the days leading up to ovulation, sometimes to a level that it can cause them to forget precautions they would otherwise normally take.

I read this book, Taking Charge of You Fertility. This book was a total eye opener and banished many of the myths that seem to surround female cycles. Not every woman has a 28 day cycle. Not every woman ovulates on day 14 of her cycle. This is what a perfectly normal cycle can look like.




Ovulation here didn't even happen until day 22 of the cycle. It is obvious by the thermal shift that happens after that day. The only normal "constant" from cycle to cycle is how many days between ovulation and the start of the menses, the day of ovulation can (and often does) change from one cycle to the next. This is why birth control like the "rhythm method" can be so ineffective.

I can't advocate reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility enough, I have a copy if anyone local wants to borrow it as well. It covers so much more than I could ever talk about in a blog post. The long and short of it, is that knowing your body and how it works can be incredibly empowering.

Women that track their fertility can know exactly when they can and can't get pregnant. This can work for both birth control (if strictly following the rules in the book) or as a way to become pregnant if trying. A woman that tracks her fertility is also not usually surprised by when her period shows up as noted above, there is usually a drop in temperature before the menses for that cycle begins.

Even if you continue to stay on hormonal birth control, which works wonderfully for some women (but as I learned twice, not for me), it is helpful to know how the reproductive cycle works, for both men and women.

If you have any questions or want to know more feel free to ask and I can either point you in the direction to gain that knowledge or share with you what I have learned in my journey.

Project 365 Day 12 + Snow Storm

So I live in Vermont. Most people would associate Vermont + January with snow. I always had before I moved to the town in which I live now. For some reason, we seem to miss nearly all the storms, summer and winter. If it snows the town 10 miles away gets 3 feet and we get 3 inches. In the summer we can hear thunderstorms and see them, but they break on either side of us. I am not quite sure why, I know there must be some reason, but we never get the same brunt of the storm that the rest of the state does.

Example, that big storm that is hitting Boston/ NYC today, it is making its way up here. Right now the view out my front window looks like this...notice the total lack of fresh snow.



This is a screen shot taken from the highway near where my mom lives about 70/80 miles away. Taken maybe 2 minutes after I took the photo above.



Now, admittedly the storm is moving south to north, however, we are expected to get MAYBE 3-6 inches from the same storm. I would put my money on maybe 2 inches where I live. A large amount of the state is predicted to get 6-12+ inches of snow and I am sure we will come out nearly unscathed.

Project 365 Day 11

This is my friend.

Anytime I sit down/ lay down on the couch when the kids are away he *knows* and joins me in whatever I am doing. He is welcome all the time except for when I am knitting...he doesn't help me knit very much....

Project 365 Day 10

Meet my friends. They hang out an awful lot. They come and go causing terror wherever they are. I also get to pronounce their names several times a day.

Project 365 Day 7 + Religion

This book came in the mail today. It came for my children and it came for myself. I admit to knowing very little about how others think the world was created. Growing up I had only ever been exposed to the Christian/ Jewish/ Muslim idea that God created everything.

As I grew older I learned about the Big Bang Theory and saw specials on National Geographic about how the universe might have been formed. However, I still had no real idea of what other countries/ religions/ groups of people thought happened to create the Earth.

Then around Christmas I got the question I wasn't yet ready to answer in depth from my 4.5 year old. He said to me, "Mama, who is Jesus?" I am guessing he had heard it on television or in passing from someone at a store, but I am not really sure where he heard this name or why he wanted to know who it was, but he asked.

I have answered questions about how he came out of my belly and why girls have different organs than boys, but this was a question I wasn't prepared for quite so young.

Anyone who knows me with my guard down, my closest friends, know that I am an atheist (For anyone that is confused that means LACK of belief in all religions/gods. Nothing more or less. It doesn't mean I worship the devil, since I don't believe in a devil.). Anyone that knows me on facebook has probably had suspicions but it has never really been stated outright. I had planned on a little more time to go over the story of the Bible with him and I hadn't really planned on having to gear it towards a 4.5 year old child, I had planned on maybe 6 or 7 years before this came up.

In any event, I gave him the basic rundown about how some people thought Jesus was the son of God, then of course had to explain who God was and how some people thought he created the Earth etc. I stressed that there were other people that believed other things, because I wanted him to have a rounded view of what is out there, as that is something I never really had. However I realized, when he asked what other people thought, that I only had one thing in my tool belt other than God/Jesus and that was science. I told him about (a 4.5 year olds version) of the Big Bang Theory and told him I would look for more. So I went to Amazon to order this book with other creation myths, and the book came today with beautiful pictures and a great number of stories. Now the book seems to be geared more towards older children, maybe around the age of 10, but if I have learned anything from my kids, it is that curiosity knows no age. One morning early this winter, first thing in the morning, my 2.5 year old asked me how frost was made, so I should know by now that I have kids that want to know everything they can about anything around them.

This of course all brings to light my own thoughts on religion. For some reason, a lot of people seem to think that being an atheist is a bad thing. I am sure it relates to worry that I am going to burn in Hell or something of that nature.

Now, I have had a few conversations with various Christians before and there is one question that seems to be asked the most, what do I think will happen to me when I die?

Now of course, unless I turn into a vampire, I am going to die, as is everyone and everything else on Earth. It is the only real certainty in life, so I can see why this question would come up especially since a great many of the world religions focus on some sort of life after one dies.

The answer to that question, for myself, is that when I die that is it, I die. My wishes are to be cremated etc. but I don't expect to find myself face to face with God to have him banish me to Hell because I didn't believe in him. I expect to return to what I was before I was born. I don't remember anything from before I was born, because I didn't exist. I figure it will be much the same when I die. I know this isn't glamorous or exciting, but with any luck the memories I made with others will live on through those that knew me.

The other thing I see questioned a lot with atheism is morals. Now, I have been lucky enough that no one that knows me has asked me where my morals come from, but it seems to happen a lot in the internet world. If someone that knew me asked this, I would be slightly horrified because that would lead me to believe they thought I had done something morally reprehensible.

I get my morals from the same place others get theirs, from general society. Society is people working together and as a society ages, it learns what does and what doesn't help the society as a whole. Killing someone in cold blood obviously doesn't help society. I don't need a legal system to tell me that, neither do most people. This is where the golden rule, that I learned in grade school, comes into play. Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

It seems pretty simple when you break it down. I don't want someone to steal from me, so I don't steal from other people. I don't want someone raping me, so I don't rape other people. I don't like when other people lie to me, so I don't lie to them and so on down the line. These are the important parts of a functioning and healthy society.

Now, none of this is to say I have any real problem with religion, because in general I don't. I understand (at least to an extent) why different people believe different things. In general it makes these people feel good about themselves, it helps them feel secure, it comforts them, and it offers an answer to both the creation of the universe and to what happens when you die.

I only have three issues with just about all religions, and they really aren't about the religion in question, they are about the person that is supposed to be practicing said religion.

The first is praying to the chosen deity for help with something extremely trivial. Example: "Please God/Allah/Buddha/whomever let me find a parking spot at the mall today." This drives me crazy. Why not tack on "...and please end world suffering" to the end of that? Just about everyone knows there are children starving all over the globe. There are people dying of cancer everyday. If your biggest worry is something trivial like getting a parking spot or what football/baseball/basketball team wins the next game...well, that is extremely disappointing. It also doesn't help the global society.

The second issue I have is a "give credit where credit is due" situation. I had this talk on facebook recently and the example I used was the recent Chilean miner rescue. I saw things all over the news and on facebook and from people on the streets thanking God for rescuing these people. I saw only a handful thanking the rescuers that spent days on end digging these miners out, or the engineers at NASA that built the capsule that got them out, or to the people that sent money to help fund all of this. I see this a lot in weight loss as well, for whatever reason, I see people thanking God for them having lost 50 pounds. Why not thank yourself? *You* did all the work. God may have been what motivated you or what you thought of while exercising but it was still YOU that put in that effort. I also know that people from many religions think that thanking God/ etc. is like thanking the people because he "works through" these people. What about the people that don't believe in whichever deity? Does God still "use" them in these situations? If he does, doesn't that bring up issues of free will? I can promise you that some of those engineers from NASA that helped save the miners didn't believe in God. I am sure some of them believed in the Jewish God or the Muslim God or just in karma.

The third and final issue I have with religion is when people force it upon my children in one form or another. This is where my Mama Bear instincts kick in and I will get fierce. People that know me, know that in general I am a very "go with the flow" sort of person but once in awhile someone will step on toes and I will roar. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. This can happen in the street, from family, from friends, from school, or from my kids' friends parents.

At this point I hope the readers would know that I do plan on teaching my children about religion, about ALL religions, or at least as many as I can get information on. In an ideal world I had wanted this all to wait until my kids were a bit older but as I have learned from the both of them, I need to be ready now for a talk that might come later, or it might come after nap, I will leave that up to them.

Someday there will probably be more on religion from me, but at this point I am running out of typing time.

Project 365 Day 6

This is what happens in my house. Everyone has a place in their house that gathers junk, here it is our kitchen counter. This is one days worth of accumulation. It is insane and I have to clean it all.the.time.

Project 365 Day 5 + C25K End of Week One

What you see here is my least favorite part of everyday.



Seems harmless enough right? Bananas, spring cheese, odwalla bar, and a pile of veggies. However, figuring out what we are all going to eat everyday drives me insane. I am not by nature a creative person and I totally lost my love of food while pregnant with my son. I had to eat constantly when I was pregnant with him or my sugar would drop and I felt horrible, I got so tired of what to eat next.

However, I know food and nutrition is important so I do my best to make it as round a meal as possible, as evidenced here in today's lunch for the kids, all the food groups are represented. I long for the day when it doesn't seem like such a chore to pick out meals for the week (then do the shopping required so that we can eat them). Maybe someday.

And now, for the end of week one of C25K.

I was sick last night and into this morning. It sucked, hard. However I was able to get an hour and a half nap in this afternoon and I was able to eat dinner. I also knew that if I didn't do day 3 (the last day) of week one I was likely to slack off. So I knew I had to at least TRY to do today's, I could always try again tomorrow if I couldn't do it.

Well, I am proud to say that Friday will bring week two as I was able to complete today's.

It is interesting because I don't really think of three days a week being much for exercise but I could feel in today's session, that even with being sick and not quite up to par, I was just about ready to run for a little bit longer at a time.

The only real issue I have with it so far is that I am running on a treadmill because I am a pansy and running outside in New England winter is not my thing. Now ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal, but I get the WORST vertigo when I run on the treadmill, well not while one it, but when its time to go back to walking like a normal person.

I did a little googleing and found out it is normal and affects the same part of of the ear that causes motion sickness, and considering how motion sick I get, I am not surprised. It calms down pretty quickly once I am off the treadmill, I just need to make sure to hold the railing while going up the stairs out of the basement.

So onward and upward I go.