Insecure Parenting

We recently had a big day in our house. Mr. A had a screening for kindergarten as he starts in the fall. It is a big deal of course so I was excited and nervous as I dropped him off yesterday and was more worried that he would be shy than anything else.

I went to pick him up (they have you drop them off for 2 hours) I was excited to see him, see how he did, and see what he thought about the whole thing. Before he saw me, I saw him and for a brief moment, my heart stopped. All the kids had made bracelets and necklaces but Mr. A had picked pink and purple. I quickly recovered what I am sure was a look of shock before he saw me and went to get him, complete with a big hug.

Now, I have no issues with pink and purple for a boy. He has always enjoyed painting finger nails, wearing tutus, picking pink paper instead of blue, and stealing my skirts to wear as dresses. None of that bothers me in the least.

For that moment when my heart stopped, I was worrying about what the other kids were going to say to him or if anyone had said anything to him.

We all know most mothers want to do what they can to keep kids safe and happy and I am no different in that respect. I am also painfully aware of how hard it can be when other kids decide you are "different" and start pointing that out.

Part of what got me about the situation is I wasn't prepared for it. I hadn't seen it coming at all. If he had decided he wanted to bring a purse to school I would have let him, and I would have explained to him that some of the other kids might think that is silly and might say things to him, but that it is totally okay to bring a purse if he wants to. I felt ill prepared as I hadn't thought of color prefernces.

I talked to him about what he thought of "school". He told me he had a great time and really liked it, so I was able to breathe a sigh of relief as it seems the other kids didn't notice his choice of beads, or if they did, they didn't care (which isn't THAT surprising at 5 years old).

The whole thing brought up my own insecurities as a parent. More than anything in the world I want my children to be accepted and loved. I know in reality most kids get bullied (even the bullies) but I also know that a boy that likes pink and purple is a more likely target than some of the others.

We all know that kids can be cruel and adults can be even more so. Sometimes people don't accept things that are "different".

I would NEVER dream of telling my son that pink is a "girl" color or tell him to go play in the woods instead of pretending to be a princess. I love him 100% and I want him to be the person that he is. I just hope I am able to raise him to be strong enough to handle what comes his way, no matter what, and to know that his Mama is ALWAYS here and will never judge him, only offer love and support when he needs it.