Shooting in Colorado

So, last week there was a great tragedy in Colorado at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Returns. At this point I am pretty sure most people know what happened. The whole situation is extremely upsetting even for people that are in no way connected to the shooting or the victims.

The part of the story making the rounds right now, now that people have absorbed the horror of what happened, is upsetting but for an entirely different reason. The story I am talking about is the man that left his baby on the floor with his girlfriend and left the cineplex in his car. Honestly, I am appalled at the hate this man is getting on the internet, from people that don't know him, have never met him, and have never been in a shooting.

I would like to know how many of the people that are hating on this man for his actions have been in a shooting? Or even in a real life and death situation?

I will share two stories, well sort of three, but you get the idea.

First when I was about 6 or 7 years old I was helping my mom take care of Christmas ornaments. While we were digging through a box a mouse popped out, just your normal field mouse, but she freaked out and ran out onto the porch shouting for my stepfather. I was left on the back of the couch in terror (which I find silly now because it was just a field mouse). A second incident happened when I was about 12. There was a bat in the house and again my mom freaked out and locked herself in a bedroom leaving me screeching on the floor in the fetal position.

Now, I realize obviously that a mouse and a bat aren't anywhere NEAR the same level of terror that a shooting would be, but that is how my mom responds in situations of high stress like that. When fight or flight takes over, she is a flight. Does it make her a bad parent that she didn't make sure I was safe from these little creatures? Of course not! It isn't her fault that is how she is hardwired to work. Instinct kicks in and there is no chance to rationalize the situation.

The second story happened when I was about 15 or 16 years old. I was a passenger in a car that was going far too fast for road conditions and we got into a wreck. A one car wreck. Myself and 2 other teenage girls were in this car. They freaked out, I stayed calm and helped get things under control thanks to the help of a passing vehicle that had a cell phone. I stood outside the van, looking at the damage more than 10 or 15 minutes after it all happened and realized the roof was crushed in places. Once I knew we were safe my mind started to replay what had happened and I realized only then, more than 15 minutes after it all happened, that we had rolled the van at about 70 mph. My eyes were open the entire time we rolled but it happened so fast it took awhile to actually register what had happened. Again, this isn't anywhere near as intense as shooting in a movie theatre but it was definitely a flight or fight moment, and that is how instinct had me handle it. Get to a part where I was safe and then reply the events that had happened and try to process them. As a result of this crash I still refuse to be a passenger in a car during a snowstorm and I am 27 now.

My point with this stories is this, until you know how you will react in the exact same situation, don't bash on this poor man, that in case you all forgot, was ALSO there for the shooting. To say "I would never leave my kid" is ridiculous unless you have BEEN there and actually gone through it. It is not out of the realm of possibility for you to react this exact way.

Would it make any difference if he was a war vet that suffered from PTSD? What if he had some other mental illness or significant trauma in his life? You don't know him, you don't know what he has been through in his life. I learned from my (comparatively mild) experience that when that instinct takes over you have NO control. None. It is completely possible for him to have left the theatre and driven away before he even realized what had happened. I went through at least a 15 minute delay before I registered, it is completely possible he did too.

So while you sit around judging this man for his actions and likely making him feel worse than he no doubt already does, ask yourself if you would like to be remembered as the person who's instinct took over in what society deemed a "cowardly" way….for the rest of your life? On top of dealing with that guilt all on your own while trying to cope with being part of such a huge tragedy.

I wasn't there. I have no idea how it all went down. I have never been shot at. I know, for a fact, I can't be sure how I would have reacted. Neither can you.