So, last week there was a great tragedy in Colorado at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Returns. At this point I am pretty sure most people know what happened. The whole situation is extremely upsetting even for people that are in no way connected to the shooting or the victims.
The part of the story making the rounds right now, now that people have absorbed the horror of what happened, is upsetting but for an entirely different reason. The story I am talking about is the man that left his baby on the floor with his girlfriend and left the cineplex in his car. Honestly, I am appalled at the hate this man is getting on the internet, from people that don't know him, have never met him, and have never been in a shooting.
I would like to know how many of the people that are hating on this man for his actions have been in a shooting? Or even in a real life and death situation?
I will share two stories, well sort of three, but you get the idea.
First when I was about 6 or 7 years old I was helping my mom take care of Christmas ornaments. While we were digging through a box a mouse popped out, just your normal field mouse, but she freaked out and ran out onto the porch shouting for my stepfather. I was left on the back of the couch in terror (which I find silly now because it was just a field mouse). A second incident happened when I was about 12. There was a bat in the house and again my mom freaked out and locked herself in a bedroom leaving me screeching on the floor in the fetal position.
Now, I realize obviously that a mouse and a bat aren't anywhere NEAR the same level of terror that a shooting would be, but that is how my mom responds in situations of high stress like that. When fight or flight takes over, she is a flight. Does it make her a bad parent that she didn't make sure I was safe from these little creatures? Of course not! It isn't her fault that is how she is hardwired to work. Instinct kicks in and there is no chance to rationalize the situation.
The second story happened when I was about 15 or 16 years old. I was a passenger in a car that was going far too fast for road conditions and we got into a wreck. A one car wreck. Myself and 2 other teenage girls were in this car. They freaked out, I stayed calm and helped get things under control thanks to the help of a passing vehicle that had a cell phone. I stood outside the van, looking at the damage more than 10 or 15 minutes after it all happened and realized the roof was crushed in places. Once I knew we were safe my mind started to replay what had happened and I realized only then, more than 15 minutes after it all happened, that we had rolled the van at about 70 mph. My eyes were open the entire time we rolled but it happened so fast it took awhile to actually register what had happened. Again, this isn't anywhere near as intense as shooting in a movie theatre but it was definitely a flight or fight moment, and that is how instinct had me handle it. Get to a part where I was safe and then reply the events that had happened and try to process them. As a result of this crash I still refuse to be a passenger in a car during a snowstorm and I am 27 now.
My point with this stories is this, until you know how you will react in the exact same situation, don't bash on this poor man, that in case you all forgot, was ALSO there for the shooting. To say "I would never leave my kid" is ridiculous unless you have BEEN there and actually gone through it. It is not out of the realm of possibility for you to react this exact way.
Would it make any difference if he was a war vet that suffered from PTSD? What if he had some other mental illness or significant trauma in his life? You don't know him, you don't know what he has been through in his life. I learned from my (comparatively mild) experience that when that instinct takes over you have NO control. None. It is completely possible for him to have left the theatre and driven away before he even realized what had happened. I went through at least a 15 minute delay before I registered, it is completely possible he did too.
So while you sit around judging this man for his actions and likely making him feel worse than he no doubt already does, ask yourself if you would like to be remembered as the person who's instinct took over in what society deemed a "cowardly" way….for the rest of your life? On top of dealing with that guilt all on your own while trying to cope with being part of such a huge tragedy.
I wasn't there. I have no idea how it all went down. I have never been shot at. I know, for a fact, I can't be sure how I would have reacted. Neither can you.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Skinny People
After the Oscars last night there has been a lot on the internet about how thin Angelina Jolie appears to be. There have been speculations that she is starving herself to raise awareness for poor countries where children don't eat. There have been speculations that she is suffering from some horrible illness. There have been speculations that she is anorexic/bulimic. There are people saying the dress just wasn't flattering and she is the same as she usually is.
I was just going to leave it alone entirely and ignore the whole thing. Then I saw a thread on an online message board about a person that saw someone they deemed "anorexic" at the gym, doing cardio for hours. He wanted to know how to say something to her (or if he should). Responses varied but of course hitting on her and getting her banned from the gym (really?) came up.
Okay, fine. That is normal-ish for that site anyway. I was just going to ignore that too. Then I was reading facebook, as I do all too often, and something popped up from Old Navy advertising their jeans. It was their jeans made for "pear-shaped" women and the first comment on this ad? It was of course a woman asking for a plus sized model for these pants so she could see what they "actually" looked like, implying of course that the model was too thin to be showing pants made for pear-shaped. There were various other comments but most of them centered around this model being a "stick" or "too thin" or not the proper body for this type of pant.
I admit, that was my breaking point. As a size 4 (US) that model was roughly my size, maybe even a size 6. She had hips and thighs. She was an "average" size person. I know full well someone can be pear-shaped without being a size 16 or 18 or 46 or whatever.
The reason this all gets to me is because of the new trend of "skinny-bashing". Why is it okay to talk about Angelina as being too skinny/unhealthy/sickly/creepy/etc because she is thin? Maybe she DOES have an eating disorder. Maybe she IS suffering from an illness. Why should she have to explain what is going on with HER body? Why is it okay for all these people to hate on her just because she is thin? If her acting was crappy, sure, whatever, her acting is a matter of opinion. Her body shape is a matter of fact.
With the person that saw the "anorexic" at the gym, why should he feel compelled to say ANYTHING to her? Why does it affect him that she likes her cardio? Maybe she is ill as well, or suffering from an ED. Maybe she is just naturally thin. Maybe she is training for a marathon or something of that nature. The point is, how does it affect a stranger at the gym? If I went to McDs every day and every day I saw a 600 pound woman with everything from the dollar menu in front of me, would it be okay for me to confront her on that? Would it be okay for me to call her fat or to berate her? Would it be acceptable for me to go up to the manager at the restaurant and get her banned from McDs for eating too much? No, of course it wouldn't be okay. I can't even imagine the reaction I would get if I did that, but I know it wouldn't go well.
What I can't understand is why so many people feel so entitled to care about another person's appearance? You have your own body. Do with it as you please. If you want to run for 10 hours a day and are prepared to handle the consequences, by all means, go for it. If you want to eat 15 cheeseburgers a day and are prepared to handle those consequences, by all means, order up. Why does it matter to *YOU* how *ANOTHER PERSON* looks or what they choose to do to his/her body?
Now I have heard that it matters because there are too many thin people in the media. That is causing teens to become anorexic or have issues with body-image. Okay, fine, I have heard that too. I haven't seen any data on it or done any research so I can't speak to that or how to fix it. I *CAN* tell you that the way to fix it isn't to bash thin people just like I don't advocate bashing overweight people as a manner to handle the obesity crisis the US is dealing with.
Mind your words people. Calling someone "skinny" or a "stick" isn't a compliment, in some cases it is downright hurtful. Better choices are "looking well" or "gee you look great!" if you feel like you REALLY need to comment on appearance.
I was just going to leave it alone entirely and ignore the whole thing. Then I saw a thread on an online message board about a person that saw someone they deemed "anorexic" at the gym, doing cardio for hours. He wanted to know how to say something to her (or if he should). Responses varied but of course hitting on her and getting her banned from the gym (really?) came up.
Okay, fine. That is normal-ish for that site anyway. I was just going to ignore that too. Then I was reading facebook, as I do all too often, and something popped up from Old Navy advertising their jeans. It was their jeans made for "pear-shaped" women and the first comment on this ad? It was of course a woman asking for a plus sized model for these pants so she could see what they "actually" looked like, implying of course that the model was too thin to be showing pants made for pear-shaped. There were various other comments but most of them centered around this model being a "stick" or "too thin" or not the proper body for this type of pant.
I admit, that was my breaking point. As a size 4 (US) that model was roughly my size, maybe even a size 6. She had hips and thighs. She was an "average" size person. I know full well someone can be pear-shaped without being a size 16 or 18 or 46 or whatever.
The reason this all gets to me is because of the new trend of "skinny-bashing". Why is it okay to talk about Angelina as being too skinny/unhealthy/sickly/creepy/etc because she is thin? Maybe she DOES have an eating disorder. Maybe she IS suffering from an illness. Why should she have to explain what is going on with HER body? Why is it okay for all these people to hate on her just because she is thin? If her acting was crappy, sure, whatever, her acting is a matter of opinion. Her body shape is a matter of fact.
With the person that saw the "anorexic" at the gym, why should he feel compelled to say ANYTHING to her? Why does it affect him that she likes her cardio? Maybe she is ill as well, or suffering from an ED. Maybe she is just naturally thin. Maybe she is training for a marathon or something of that nature. The point is, how does it affect a stranger at the gym? If I went to McDs every day and every day I saw a 600 pound woman with everything from the dollar menu in front of me, would it be okay for me to confront her on that? Would it be okay for me to call her fat or to berate her? Would it be acceptable for me to go up to the manager at the restaurant and get her banned from McDs for eating too much? No, of course it wouldn't be okay. I can't even imagine the reaction I would get if I did that, but I know it wouldn't go well.
What I can't understand is why so many people feel so entitled to care about another person's appearance? You have your own body. Do with it as you please. If you want to run for 10 hours a day and are prepared to handle the consequences, by all means, go for it. If you want to eat 15 cheeseburgers a day and are prepared to handle those consequences, by all means, order up. Why does it matter to *YOU* how *ANOTHER PERSON* looks or what they choose to do to his/her body?
Now I have heard that it matters because there are too many thin people in the media. That is causing teens to become anorexic or have issues with body-image. Okay, fine, I have heard that too. I haven't seen any data on it or done any research so I can't speak to that or how to fix it. I *CAN* tell you that the way to fix it isn't to bash thin people just like I don't advocate bashing overweight people as a manner to handle the obesity crisis the US is dealing with.
Mind your words people. Calling someone "skinny" or a "stick" isn't a compliment, in some cases it is downright hurtful. Better choices are "looking well" or "gee you look great!" if you feel like you REALLY need to comment on appearance.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Cold Weather & Homelessness
Today when I got up it was -10 degrees outside. Fahrenheit. By my calculations that is about -23C for you North of the border. For those that have never experienced this kind of cold I can try to describe it for you. You get instant goosebumps over your whole body. The first breath you take in via nostrils freezes your nose hairs on contact. Any exposed bits of skin start out painfully cold and then go numb. You shiver, even in a down coat, because your legs and head are still losing heat at rapid rates. Even going to the mailbox requires a hat, good shoes, and a heavy coat. It isn't fun. Yes, it could be worse, some areas get even cold than this, but it is still not pleasant.
I woke today very thankful for my warm home with blankets and sweaters and the ability to pay the oil bill. Not everyone has these things. I am afraid I know this all too well as about 10 years ago I technically was homeless. Now even by homeless standards I was extremely lucky (though I didn't really know it at the time). I still had a warm bed to sleep in and I was only out in the cold for 2-3 hours a day instead of others that were out for entire days minus whatever time they could be in the mall or a store.
The month I was homeless it never got above 0 degrees in town. Not once the entire month. It was bitterly, horribly cold. It is on days like today that I really feel guilty for thinking I had it "bad" back then. It was "easy" for me. I was warm more often than not, I had a warm coat and decent shoes, I even think I had gloves (I can't remember). There are so many out there now without even a proper coat. In -10 degree weather.
So my little PSA today is go through your closets. Go through your drawers. Check your linen closets. Know if there are extra mittens, gloves, hats, blankets, jackets, sweaters, or socks (a highly sought after item), there are homeless shelters in your area that would find very good homes for these items. If you don't know of a shelter offhand a quick google search will likely bring up matches. They would help keep someone warm when they haven't got a warm bed or a pillow. In some cases they may even be a pillow as spring comes around. Winter is an excellent time to clean out the closets since most people are "stuck" inside anyway, while you are there please think of those that aren't.
I woke today very thankful for my warm home with blankets and sweaters and the ability to pay the oil bill. Not everyone has these things. I am afraid I know this all too well as about 10 years ago I technically was homeless. Now even by homeless standards I was extremely lucky (though I didn't really know it at the time). I still had a warm bed to sleep in and I was only out in the cold for 2-3 hours a day instead of others that were out for entire days minus whatever time they could be in the mall or a store.
The month I was homeless it never got above 0 degrees in town. Not once the entire month. It was bitterly, horribly cold. It is on days like today that I really feel guilty for thinking I had it "bad" back then. It was "easy" for me. I was warm more often than not, I had a warm coat and decent shoes, I even think I had gloves (I can't remember). There are so many out there now without even a proper coat. In -10 degree weather.
So my little PSA today is go through your closets. Go through your drawers. Check your linen closets. Know if there are extra mittens, gloves, hats, blankets, jackets, sweaters, or socks (a highly sought after item), there are homeless shelters in your area that would find very good homes for these items. If you don't know of a shelter offhand a quick google search will likely bring up matches. They would help keep someone warm when they haven't got a warm bed or a pillow. In some cases they may even be a pillow as spring comes around. Winter is an excellent time to clean out the closets since most people are "stuck" inside anyway, while you are there please think of those that aren't.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Stolen Poem
I found this on Reddit and wanted to share it. It is very well done in my opinion.
Atheism Doesn't Andie L.(age 14)
Atheism doesn't bring me comfort, it doesn't bring me pain.
It doesn't promise what it can't, namely; life after the death of my brain.
It doesn't tell me what is right or wrong, or how to live my life,
It doesn't tell people they can't have love if it's not a certain type.
It doesn't threaten me with eternal pain, or tempt me with eternal bliss,
It doesn't take away all the things I would most miss.
It doesn't create me sick and then command that I be well,
And if I don't get better, it won't send me to hell.
It doesn't bear the message: Worship me or burn,
and it doesn't take away ten percent of what I earn.
It doesn't tell me I'm born in dept of a crime I didn't commit,
and it doesn't tell me I must pray, worship, sacrifice or submit.
It doesn't claim to suspend the laws, or do what can't be done,
It doesn't claim to just 'know' how life or the Universe begun.
It doesn't tell me I'm inferior to men, or gods or priests.
It doesn't toy with the feelings of those who were once loved by the deceased.
It doesn't indoctrinate the young with beliefs held by authorities,
and it doesn't have 'cover up rape and abuse' as one of it's priorities.
It doesn't discourage condoms, and thus promote disease,
It doesn't tell me to beg and grovel on my knees.
Atheism isn't often offended when someone tells a joke,
And if it ever is offended, war and violence it does not provoke.
It doesn't opress advancements in science, medicine and technology,
and it doesn't have a doctrine, let alone one similar to ancient mythology.
It doesn't justify smashing planes into buildings, or blowing someone up,
It doesn't see a world outside reality and if that bothers you, well, that's tough!
It doesn't commit horrific deeds and then demand respect,
There aren't a thousand versions and another thousand sects.
It doesn't have a fancy icon like the cresant moon, cross or star,
and it doesn't encourage me to wear costumes that are ridiculous and bizarre.
It doesn't close the shops and stores on certain days of the week,
and it doesn't pounce on people when their lives are hard and bleak.
Now, I've told you what atheism isn't and what it doesn't do,
and if you go and look it up, you'll see that what I've said is true.
Because, atheism means 'godless'- that and that alone,
it's a response to a claim; and I can only hope that one day this will be better known.
Atheism Doesn't Andie L.(age 14)
Atheism doesn't bring me comfort, it doesn't bring me pain.
It doesn't promise what it can't, namely; life after the death of my brain.
It doesn't tell me what is right or wrong, or how to live my life,
It doesn't tell people they can't have love if it's not a certain type.
It doesn't threaten me with eternal pain, or tempt me with eternal bliss,
It doesn't take away all the things I would most miss.
It doesn't create me sick and then command that I be well,
And if I don't get better, it won't send me to hell.
It doesn't bear the message: Worship me or burn,
and it doesn't take away ten percent of what I earn.
It doesn't tell me I'm born in dept of a crime I didn't commit,
and it doesn't tell me I must pray, worship, sacrifice or submit.
It doesn't claim to suspend the laws, or do what can't be done,
It doesn't claim to just 'know' how life or the Universe begun.
It doesn't tell me I'm inferior to men, or gods or priests.
It doesn't toy with the feelings of those who were once loved by the deceased.
It doesn't indoctrinate the young with beliefs held by authorities,
and it doesn't have 'cover up rape and abuse' as one of it's priorities.
It doesn't discourage condoms, and thus promote disease,
It doesn't tell me to beg and grovel on my knees.
Atheism isn't often offended when someone tells a joke,
And if it ever is offended, war and violence it does not provoke.
It doesn't opress advancements in science, medicine and technology,
and it doesn't have a doctrine, let alone one similar to ancient mythology.
It doesn't justify smashing planes into buildings, or blowing someone up,
It doesn't see a world outside reality and if that bothers you, well, that's tough!
It doesn't commit horrific deeds and then demand respect,
There aren't a thousand versions and another thousand sects.
It doesn't have a fancy icon like the cresant moon, cross or star,
and it doesn't encourage me to wear costumes that are ridiculous and bizarre.
It doesn't close the shops and stores on certain days of the week,
and it doesn't pounce on people when their lives are hard and bleak.
Now, I've told you what atheism isn't and what it doesn't do,
and if you go and look it up, you'll see that what I've said is true.
Because, atheism means 'godless'- that and that alone,
it's a response to a claim; and I can only hope that one day this will be better known.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Fathers Day
Yes, I am a bit late. We had a busy weekend here so I didn't get a chance to sit down and write anything up though I was thinking about it a good portion of the weekend.
Father's Day is an interesting one for me. I never really "met" my biological father. He was around until I was about 2 but I have no memory of any of that so it doesn't really count. I found out that he died not terribly long ago from a heart attack at the age of like 53. I feel like that is supposed to matter to me more, but it doesn't. I never knew him so it doesn't make much difference to me, other than to know that genetically, I need to acquire/maintain health because he had a bad heart.
Then there is my step-father R. I wasn't ever a big fan of him though I didn't fully realize it until after the fact. He was difficult to live with, very moody, very stubborn and there was a lot of walking on eggshells. He was very entitled and very centered around himself. He was also very judgmental, racist, and a huge bigot.
I say "was" not because he also died, but because I haven't seen him since my parents divorced when I was 17, I am now nearly 27. He tried a few times to "buy" me back with money and gift cards but when he didn't get the "proper" response he gave up quite quickly.
It sounds like I could easily be bitter or mad at him doesn't it? What is interesting to me is that I am not. Now, I don't want any contact with him and I am not interested in having him in my life at all, but I am not angry with him either.
I learned a lot of valuable lessons from the 14 years that I had to spend with him. I learned how to deal with people I don't want to be around...how to "play nice" if you will. I learned how to identify manipulation and guilt trips (two of my least favorite things ever). I learned how to be a pretty good judge of character. I also learned how to read people pretty quickly as it was a day to day battle to figure out if he was happy/angry/grouchy/full out mad etc. Being able to read people's emotions is a VERY useful skill to have for day to day life and is one I have used countless times even in the last week.
Like I said, it would be easy to be resent him, but what good would that do? Plus look at all the skills I have taken away from the whole experience.
Now I have a wonderful husband and two lovely (and crazy) kids so Father's Day is a little bit different. Of course my husband really doesn't like most holidays so we don't do anything special, but it is a great reminder to me of how happy I am that my children have such a great father. He might not always do things the way I think he should but he does things the way that works for him and LOVES those kids with all his being. It is a wonderful feeling.
Father's Day is an interesting one for me. I never really "met" my biological father. He was around until I was about 2 but I have no memory of any of that so it doesn't really count. I found out that he died not terribly long ago from a heart attack at the age of like 53. I feel like that is supposed to matter to me more, but it doesn't. I never knew him so it doesn't make much difference to me, other than to know that genetically, I need to acquire/maintain health because he had a bad heart.
Then there is my step-father R. I wasn't ever a big fan of him though I didn't fully realize it until after the fact. He was difficult to live with, very moody, very stubborn and there was a lot of walking on eggshells. He was very entitled and very centered around himself. He was also very judgmental, racist, and a huge bigot.
I say "was" not because he also died, but because I haven't seen him since my parents divorced when I was 17, I am now nearly 27. He tried a few times to "buy" me back with money and gift cards but when he didn't get the "proper" response he gave up quite quickly.
It sounds like I could easily be bitter or mad at him doesn't it? What is interesting to me is that I am not. Now, I don't want any contact with him and I am not interested in having him in my life at all, but I am not angry with him either.
I learned a lot of valuable lessons from the 14 years that I had to spend with him. I learned how to deal with people I don't want to be around...how to "play nice" if you will. I learned how to identify manipulation and guilt trips (two of my least favorite things ever). I learned how to be a pretty good judge of character. I also learned how to read people pretty quickly as it was a day to day battle to figure out if he was happy/angry/grouchy/full out mad etc. Being able to read people's emotions is a VERY useful skill to have for day to day life and is one I have used countless times even in the last week.
Like I said, it would be easy to be resent him, but what good would that do? Plus look at all the skills I have taken away from the whole experience.
Now I have a wonderful husband and two lovely (and crazy) kids so Father's Day is a little bit different. Of course my husband really doesn't like most holidays so we don't do anything special, but it is a great reminder to me of how happy I am that my children have such a great father. He might not always do things the way I think he should but he does things the way that works for him and LOVES those kids with all his being. It is a wonderful feeling.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Exercise
So, recently I have started exercising.
Let me start by explaining that this is a WHOLE new world for me. I had a crazy metabolism when I was younger and could pack away whatever I wanted for food, no matter how bad, and wouldn't gain an ounce. I had flat abs and good legs. Thin thighs. The works. I never once had to do anymore exercise than I got by just existing in a day to get that way.
Then I got pregnant with my son. I gained 40 pounds. I have to say, that was difficult for me, to see the scale go up and up and up. I had been the same weight since 7th grade so packing on the pounds wasn't fun. That said, after he was born, within 6 weeks, I had lost all of the weight. It was a little bit crazy and I blame most of it on the over production of milk that I had since I was nursing.
Then when my son was 14 months old, I got pregnant with my daughter. I figured it wouldn't be so bad when I saw the scale climb up and up and up, again gaining that same 40 pounds. I figured I would lose it all again with no trouble since it fell right off the first time. Unfortunately I was incorrect and the weight just stuck right to me.
It wasn't so much the weight that was the real issue for me it was the way I felt. I FELT heavy and unhealthy. I didn't have as much spring in my step and was a little depressed that I couldn't rebound like I did with my son.
I would try, off and on, to do exercise to try to help the weight come down and I verrrrrrrrrry slowly lost the weight.
Only recently did I finally find an exercise routine that I like, that I can stick with, and that is actually showing me results.
I had tried 30 Day Shred and while I don't doubt it works wonderfully for a lot of people, for my body type it wasn't doing anything other than making me want to throw things at the TV. I happened to ask in a forum I am part of what people suggest for someone that doesn't really need to lose weight but REALLY needs to tone up and exercise and someone suggested The Body Sculpting Bible for Women.
I figured it couldn't hurt and it didn't cost anymore than a normal exercise DVD so I gave it a go. I ordered that and a set of weights and got started. The program itself is very simple, at least on the section that I am doing. Since I have never really exercised before, much less done weight lifting, I am doing a "break in" work out that lets your muscles get accustomed to being used.
On weights days I have 8 exercises that I do 2 sets of. It takes me maybe 20 minutes a day. Then on non-weights days it is cardio and ab exercises. The cardio can be anything...for 20 minutes. Running, jogging, walking, Just Dance, yoga, etc and the abs are just crunches and leg raises. Nothing difficult and nothing that leaves me feeling as though I want throw things or sit in the corner and cry.
I am happy to say I have completed 5 weeks of this new routine and finally found something I can STICK with that actually shows results.
My strength has gotten a lot better, I have abs, biceps, and leg muscles again. I feel healthier and stronger. I am setting a good example for the kids. My mood is improved as a result of the exercise as well. I haven't lost much weight (only about 3 pounds) but again, I didn't really expect to or even want to, I just wanted to change the shape of my body and so far it is changing just the way I want it to.
The only downside? My engagement/wedding rings are getting a little loose!
Let me start by explaining that this is a WHOLE new world for me. I had a crazy metabolism when I was younger and could pack away whatever I wanted for food, no matter how bad, and wouldn't gain an ounce. I had flat abs and good legs. Thin thighs. The works. I never once had to do anymore exercise than I got by just existing in a day to get that way.
Then I got pregnant with my son. I gained 40 pounds. I have to say, that was difficult for me, to see the scale go up and up and up. I had been the same weight since 7th grade so packing on the pounds wasn't fun. That said, after he was born, within 6 weeks, I had lost all of the weight. It was a little bit crazy and I blame most of it on the over production of milk that I had since I was nursing.
Then when my son was 14 months old, I got pregnant with my daughter. I figured it wouldn't be so bad when I saw the scale climb up and up and up, again gaining that same 40 pounds. I figured I would lose it all again with no trouble since it fell right off the first time. Unfortunately I was incorrect and the weight just stuck right to me.
It wasn't so much the weight that was the real issue for me it was the way I felt. I FELT heavy and unhealthy. I didn't have as much spring in my step and was a little depressed that I couldn't rebound like I did with my son.
I would try, off and on, to do exercise to try to help the weight come down and I verrrrrrrrrry slowly lost the weight.
Only recently did I finally find an exercise routine that I like, that I can stick with, and that is actually showing me results.
I had tried 30 Day Shred and while I don't doubt it works wonderfully for a lot of people, for my body type it wasn't doing anything other than making me want to throw things at the TV. I happened to ask in a forum I am part of what people suggest for someone that doesn't really need to lose weight but REALLY needs to tone up and exercise and someone suggested The Body Sculpting Bible for Women.
I figured it couldn't hurt and it didn't cost anymore than a normal exercise DVD so I gave it a go. I ordered that and a set of weights and got started. The program itself is very simple, at least on the section that I am doing. Since I have never really exercised before, much less done weight lifting, I am doing a "break in" work out that lets your muscles get accustomed to being used.
On weights days I have 8 exercises that I do 2 sets of. It takes me maybe 20 minutes a day. Then on non-weights days it is cardio and ab exercises. The cardio can be anything...for 20 minutes. Running, jogging, walking, Just Dance, yoga, etc and the abs are just crunches and leg raises. Nothing difficult and nothing that leaves me feeling as though I want throw things or sit in the corner and cry.
I am happy to say I have completed 5 weeks of this new routine and finally found something I can STICK with that actually shows results.
My strength has gotten a lot better, I have abs, biceps, and leg muscles again. I feel healthier and stronger. I am setting a good example for the kids. My mood is improved as a result of the exercise as well. I haven't lost much weight (only about 3 pounds) but again, I didn't really expect to or even want to, I just wanted to change the shape of my body and so far it is changing just the way I want it to.
The only downside? My engagement/wedding rings are getting a little loose!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Questions about Atheism: Answered
I posted a blog a week ago welcoming questions about atheism in general and my atheism and received 8 questions. Below are the 8 questions with my answers. If you have anymore questions after reading this or need me to clarify anything please let me know I will be happy to help.
I hope you enjoy and I hope it gives you a little more information about myself and possibly other atheists.
1- What was your upbringing like? Were you raised agnostic?
My very early life was Christian based. My mom was living with my aunt and both were single moms. I don’t remember a whole lot about that time as I was quite young, not more than 3 or 4 years old, but I do remember the 2 moms would load all 6 of us kids up and we would go to church. I remember learning songs like “Yes Jesus Loves Me,” but that is about it.
As I grew older I know God was mentioned from time to time and I had a Bible Stories for Children book. I remember a couple of the stories from that book but being most interested in Sampson and Delilah for some reason. I also remember being extremely confused about the concept of a holy trinity and how God could be God AND Jesus. The whole thing boggled my poor little pre-teen mind.
God wasn’t a daily thing in much of my life but it was present from time to time. Once in awhile my mom and my brother would go to church. I can remember going a time or two but thinking it was silly to need to go to church to worship someone that I was told was “everywhere” so I didn’t go very often.
So, long story short, I was raised semi-Christian but not in a way that directly influenced my belief or non-belief in God. I would say at that point I was closest to being a deist as I figured a higher power was possible to start the world but I didn’t really think of it as the Christian described being.
2- At what point in your life were you able to put the label of agnostic on your beliefs? What events (if any) led to that?
I am not really sure I can pin this down. I remember as a 6 or 7 year old child being a bit “creeped out” that God watched us all the time (as I was told). I wondered if he would watch while I showered and such and that didn’t leave me with a good feeling.
I can say I have always been a skeptic so I never really believed the way most people that do, do. I thought it was a neat idea etc but I didn’t actually expect anything to come of my prayers and never heard God speak to me etc.
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started really identifying as an atheist, but mostly because I hadn’t really thought about it much until that time. I also took a class 2 semesters ago about Genesis and that really cemented it in for me. I am of the mind that you can’t take part of the Bible as literal without accepting all of it as literal (how do you tell myth from what is real otherwise?) so even the idea of Noah’s Ark seemed silly and unbelievable to me. There was also a lot of messed up stuff in Genesis upon further reading that turned me off quite a bit.
3- What do you want me to know about you and your beliefs?
I am not sure really. I would want you to know that I don’t think people that do believe in a God or gods are foolish. I understand why many believe and why it would be a positive thing for some people and know of at least a few Christians in particular that are amazing, wonderful people and feel as though they can give that credit to Jesus. I am completely okay with that.
I like to think of all people as people so I have a difficult time when religious groups (not just Christians) act out against gay rights or women’s rights etc.
4- Are there things I do in my day-to-day life (apart from the obvious prayer before meal type situations) in which I am pushing my (general my) beliefs on you without realizing it?
The only time religion really impacts my day to day life is when it applies to politics. One really touchy issue for me is gay marriage, which some Christians are using the Bible to fight against. There is no real downside to gay marriage from my point of view. More income via marriage licenses and weddings, happy couples able to get married, etc and the only reasons I have heard against it are that the Bible is against it/God doesn’t like gay people, or that it “breaks down” the fabric of marriage because a “marriage” is between a man and a woman. I really dislike when other peoples religions are used to force through political agendas.
5- What is the point of anyone being alive if we are just to die and go nowhere?
Why does there have to be a point? I don’t think there is a specific purpose to my life. I am living because I was born that way and I want to live, I enjoy life, I like watching my kids grow up and I love the smell of leaves in the fall. So far as I know my purpose in life is to enjoy it while it lasts, because I only get so much of it, and to try to have a positive impact on society.
6- How can you be sure that there is NO god? because we are talking about atheism not agnostic.
You have to be careful with these terms because while they complement each other, they are not dealing with the same topics. Theism deals with belief, gnosticism deals with knowledge, so I'm actually an agnostic atheist(the vast majority are agnostic atheists), because I both do not claim to know if a god exists and also do not believe. There are also gnostic atheists(not very common) who both do not believe and also claim to know there are no gods. So to answer the question I am most certainly not sure, but being not sure has nothing to do with the truth of the claim or my belief in it. Agnosticism must be qualified, one can be agnostic toward many things, I'm agnostic with respect to leprechauns as well.
7- Is there a way to prove to people that there is NO God?
First of all you can’t prove a negative, but aside from that I highly doubt it. The burden of proof is always on those that claim a position, its not my job to prove or disprove. I also don’t really think there is a place for proof in the world of theism, its all about belief and faith. I can’t prove your personal belief “wrong” because it just a belief.
If I said to you can you PROVE that Odin wasn’t a real Norse God? That he never existed? Wouldn’t you ask the people that believe in Odin to prove he is a true god instead of you trying to disprove it?
8- What is the foundation for morality for an atheist? How can an atheist fight for certain standards and values (i.e., liberty, equality, protection for children, etc)? In other words where do these standards come from and how can they be expected of others?
The morality for most atheists comes from what societies deem moral, if you want to be allowed to stay in your community, you need to follow the rules and be a decent person. It is as basic as what is taught to every child in grade school, treat others the way you would want to be treated. If you want to be around people and in society then you need to do things that don’t get you kicked out. If you kill someone, those in your community will remove you from society by putting you in jail etc. It is about making yourself look at life from another persons perspective and thinking about what you would want if you were them.
This can be seen throughout history, but most recently with slavery. Slavery was once acceptable and the morals of societies at that time did not have anything to say about it, or considered it normal. I’m sure I don’t have to point out that at the time the Bible was written slavery was normal and acceptable, as long as you followed the guidelines. I don’t think God has ever told us that slavery is wrong and immoral, our medical knowledge has simply improved and it became obvious that other races(or lower status families) weren’t “sub-human” and society subsequently deemed it immoral to treat people as property. Today it’s homosexuality, my morals already guide me toward “they are people too and should have the same rights as any person”, and society is slowly moving in that direction. I already mentioned above about religion being one of the main (if not the only) group against gay marriage.
In other words I fight for liberty and equality for all people because I want to be treated equally and have liberty. Its actually quite selfish as I am trying to behave the way I want other people to act towards me.
As to how it is taught, it doesn’t really need to be. Even a young child learns without prompting that if you always steal toys from your buddy, your buddy won’t like you and won’t play anymore.
I’ve seen some amazing videos of teaching in Japan showing very young kids being left alone to resolve issues on their own instead of being broken up and told how to resolve by an adult. They end up resolving the problem the same way many species do, the group excludes the individual that is acting without regard to the group, that individual realizes their mistake and makes an attempt to make amends so they can be a part of the group again. I try as often as possible to leave Mr. A and Ms I alone to work out their own problems, and they almost always work out a mutually beneficial solution all on their own. We don’t need teaching and instructing to be good to each other, its hard wired into us to learn it, and when someone doesn’t participate they are removed.
I hope you enjoy and I hope it gives you a little more information about myself and possibly other atheists.
1- What was your upbringing like? Were you raised agnostic?
My very early life was Christian based. My mom was living with my aunt and both were single moms. I don’t remember a whole lot about that time as I was quite young, not more than 3 or 4 years old, but I do remember the 2 moms would load all 6 of us kids up and we would go to church. I remember learning songs like “Yes Jesus Loves Me,” but that is about it.
As I grew older I know God was mentioned from time to time and I had a Bible Stories for Children book. I remember a couple of the stories from that book but being most interested in Sampson and Delilah for some reason. I also remember being extremely confused about the concept of a holy trinity and how God could be God AND Jesus. The whole thing boggled my poor little pre-teen mind.
God wasn’t a daily thing in much of my life but it was present from time to time. Once in awhile my mom and my brother would go to church. I can remember going a time or two but thinking it was silly to need to go to church to worship someone that I was told was “everywhere” so I didn’t go very often.
So, long story short, I was raised semi-Christian but not in a way that directly influenced my belief or non-belief in God. I would say at that point I was closest to being a deist as I figured a higher power was possible to start the world but I didn’t really think of it as the Christian described being.
2- At what point in your life were you able to put the label of agnostic on your beliefs? What events (if any) led to that?
I am not really sure I can pin this down. I remember as a 6 or 7 year old child being a bit “creeped out” that God watched us all the time (as I was told). I wondered if he would watch while I showered and such and that didn’t leave me with a good feeling.
I can say I have always been a skeptic so I never really believed the way most people that do, do. I thought it was a neat idea etc but I didn’t actually expect anything to come of my prayers and never heard God speak to me etc.
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started really identifying as an atheist, but mostly because I hadn’t really thought about it much until that time. I also took a class 2 semesters ago about Genesis and that really cemented it in for me. I am of the mind that you can’t take part of the Bible as literal without accepting all of it as literal (how do you tell myth from what is real otherwise?) so even the idea of Noah’s Ark seemed silly and unbelievable to me. There was also a lot of messed up stuff in Genesis upon further reading that turned me off quite a bit.
3- What do you want me to know about you and your beliefs?
I am not sure really. I would want you to know that I don’t think people that do believe in a God or gods are foolish. I understand why many believe and why it would be a positive thing for some people and know of at least a few Christians in particular that are amazing, wonderful people and feel as though they can give that credit to Jesus. I am completely okay with that.
I like to think of all people as people so I have a difficult time when religious groups (not just Christians) act out against gay rights or women’s rights etc.
4- Are there things I do in my day-to-day life (apart from the obvious prayer before meal type situations) in which I am pushing my (general my) beliefs on you without realizing it?
The only time religion really impacts my day to day life is when it applies to politics. One really touchy issue for me is gay marriage, which some Christians are using the Bible to fight against. There is no real downside to gay marriage from my point of view. More income via marriage licenses and weddings, happy couples able to get married, etc and the only reasons I have heard against it are that the Bible is against it/God doesn’t like gay people, or that it “breaks down” the fabric of marriage because a “marriage” is between a man and a woman. I really dislike when other peoples religions are used to force through political agendas.
5- What is the point of anyone being alive if we are just to die and go nowhere?
Why does there have to be a point? I don’t think there is a specific purpose to my life. I am living because I was born that way and I want to live, I enjoy life, I like watching my kids grow up and I love the smell of leaves in the fall. So far as I know my purpose in life is to enjoy it while it lasts, because I only get so much of it, and to try to have a positive impact on society.
6- How can you be sure that there is NO god? because we are talking about atheism not agnostic.
You have to be careful with these terms because while they complement each other, they are not dealing with the same topics. Theism deals with belief, gnosticism deals with knowledge, so I'm actually an agnostic atheist(the vast majority are agnostic atheists), because I both do not claim to know if a god exists and also do not believe. There are also gnostic atheists(not very common) who both do not believe and also claim to know there are no gods. So to answer the question I am most certainly not sure, but being not sure has nothing to do with the truth of the claim or my belief in it. Agnosticism must be qualified, one can be agnostic toward many things, I'm agnostic with respect to leprechauns as well.
7- Is there a way to prove to people that there is NO God?
First of all you can’t prove a negative, but aside from that I highly doubt it. The burden of proof is always on those that claim a position, its not my job to prove or disprove. I also don’t really think there is a place for proof in the world of theism, its all about belief and faith. I can’t prove your personal belief “wrong” because it just a belief.
If I said to you can you PROVE that Odin wasn’t a real Norse God? That he never existed? Wouldn’t you ask the people that believe in Odin to prove he is a true god instead of you trying to disprove it?
8- What is the foundation for morality for an atheist? How can an atheist fight for certain standards and values (i.e., liberty, equality, protection for children, etc)? In other words where do these standards come from and how can they be expected of others?
The morality for most atheists comes from what societies deem moral, if you want to be allowed to stay in your community, you need to follow the rules and be a decent person. It is as basic as what is taught to every child in grade school, treat others the way you would want to be treated. If you want to be around people and in society then you need to do things that don’t get you kicked out. If you kill someone, those in your community will remove you from society by putting you in jail etc. It is about making yourself look at life from another persons perspective and thinking about what you would want if you were them.
This can be seen throughout history, but most recently with slavery. Slavery was once acceptable and the morals of societies at that time did not have anything to say about it, or considered it normal. I’m sure I don’t have to point out that at the time the Bible was written slavery was normal and acceptable, as long as you followed the guidelines. I don’t think God has ever told us that slavery is wrong and immoral, our medical knowledge has simply improved and it became obvious that other races(or lower status families) weren’t “sub-human” and society subsequently deemed it immoral to treat people as property. Today it’s homosexuality, my morals already guide me toward “they are people too and should have the same rights as any person”, and society is slowly moving in that direction. I already mentioned above about religion being one of the main (if not the only) group against gay marriage.
In other words I fight for liberty and equality for all people because I want to be treated equally and have liberty. Its actually quite selfish as I am trying to behave the way I want other people to act towards me.
As to how it is taught, it doesn’t really need to be. Even a young child learns without prompting that if you always steal toys from your buddy, your buddy won’t like you and won’t play anymore.
I’ve seen some amazing videos of teaching in Japan showing very young kids being left alone to resolve issues on their own instead of being broken up and told how to resolve by an adult. They end up resolving the problem the same way many species do, the group excludes the individual that is acting without regard to the group, that individual realizes their mistake and makes an attempt to make amends so they can be a part of the group again. I try as often as possible to leave Mr. A and Ms I alone to work out their own problems, and they almost always work out a mutually beneficial solution all on their own. We don’t need teaching and instructing to be good to each other, its hard wired into us to learn it, and when someone doesn’t participate they are removed.
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